Social Media is a strange animal – addictive, fascinating, engaging, but also scary. It wields great power, helping to connect, communicate, and transform. But with great power comes great responsibility.
I picked up blogging over the past few years and have expanded my friends list exponentially. I believe that networking aids the growth of my brand. In this process, I have discovered many amazing people and platforms that have helped further hone my craft. I often accept friend requests from strangers assuming they are from the writing community. Occasionally, I’ve had to deal with an error in judgment.
Here are the five people I have met online that have gotten my antenna beeping red.
The Charmer
Picture this: I accept a friend request from a stranger assuming it is a fellow writer or an avid reader. Seconds later, my messenger sounds an alert. My newest ‘friend’ pings me with these opening lines: ‘You look cute. Tell me about yourself.’
This is the kind of conversation that has every woman screaming ‘stranger danger’. It’s not okay to start a conversation with personal remarks or act entitled.
An acquaintance once shared that a Facebook ‘friend’ flooded her with personal questions, demanding she share where she was based out of. Sensing her discomfort, he added a disclaimer, ‘I am safe, trust me.’
‘Walk into my web. I am safe,’…said no spider ever.
Not to mention the incessant sharing of chatbot-generated poems, complimenting beauty and whatnot. As Cristina Yang from the hit medical series Grey’s Anatomy, says, ‘I’m brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain!’
The Professional
What’s with this flurry of friend requests from men flying planes or performing heart surgery? Like many women in my circles, I receive requests from foreign doctors, pilots, and officers. Their profiles are filled with pictures of them playing with dogs or little children and emphasizing their single status.
Women who have made the mistake of adding phony profiles report that these IDs ping them to lament about their loneliness and ask for ‘friendship’. If they are interested in matchmaking, they are barking up the wrong tree. Most of us are committed, intending to stay that way. If anyone was seeking romantic companionship, they would be on a dating app, not here.
Do you know who could be interested? Sima Aunty from Netflix since she is probably recruiting for the next season of her matchmaking show.
The Scamster
Gone are the days when one would get a ping asking for ‘fraanship.’ The requests are as sophisticated as they can get. There have been incidents where gullible women fall prey to scamsters who befriend them. Initially the conversations are civilized, even interesting maybe. Later, these fake profiles put forth requests involving the transfer of large sums of money. Most of the time, they can get away with it because the victims are too embarrassed to file a complaint.
Wondering if we should update our bios with: Kindly do not expect me to cough up the ransom money in case pirates seize your ship, or you need an advance to pay the legal fees for the inheritance your grandma left you.
And locked profiles? A big NO.
The Debater
Social media is a happy place for many a content creator; a creative space for self-expression. What’s with the people who befriend you and then consider it okay to tag you in a post about whatever ideology they are obsessed with? If you accidentally express an opinion or protest, they will launch into a tirade maligning your reputation.
If there is something I believe in, I will stand up for it, but not necessarily by being a keyboard warrior. To each, his or her own. If you want my opinion on whether fries go better with ketchup or mayo I can offer several valuable insights (ketchup, obviously). But if you want me to take your side in whatever socio-political-religious debate you are having, I will throw in the towel.
The Troll
Trolls don’t need to be on your friend’s list. They are everywhere. They will read your works and drop the most hurtful comments, all the while hiding behind their fake profile pictures. I know of fellow writers who have stopped blogging because of the trauma they endured due to the nasty responses their articles garnered.
Once, I had penned a review appreciating the Malayalam movie, ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’. In my blog, I had only said that this is a movie that every man should watch as it would make them appreciate their mother/wife better. Within seconds of publishing this review, a troll posted the most vicious personal comments. He wished the worst for my family and said I would suffer for my karma of propagating feminism and man-hating.
That day I learned a lesson. To survive trolls on the internet, one must develop a thick skin and a fast finger to block them before they cause further mental trauma.
The responses from others
A year ago, I posted about these spurious requests on my social media. I was surprised by the number of women who came forward, sharing experiences similar to mine. Some ranged from amusing while other experiences were downright horrific. Many women claimed to have had to change their accounts from public to private because of this influx of requests from fake profiles. Men weren’t left behind either. Some claimed to be scammed or flooded with sleazy requests from profiles with skimpy pictures.
The remedial suggestions came in fast and furious.
Do background checks. Check for mutual friends. Change your profile picture into something strange.
It can be argued that the solution is to decline every friend request you don’t recognize. But ultimately, many of us employ social media to grow our brands or expand our businesses. Sitting in a walled room doesn’t give you visibility. No one has the time or capacity to weed out such an extensive list or deal with the aftermath of accepting such requests. Ultimately, the onus falls on the individual to separate the wheat from the chaff and harness the power of social media for growth.
We talk about A.I. being able to generate images and whatnot. Given A.I. engines are so powerful, can they not be used to scan the gazillion bytes of content and remove spurious requests and sleaze?
If only bots could focus on creating a safer space for creators, we can do what we do best: create!
Disclaimer: I am no networking expert or cyber safety Guru. I’m just a netizen, trying to make sense of social media while building a happy and safe creative space.
Image credits: Pixabay