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The Marvels Of Mistakes

Authored by AIF Fellow Arbeena Jan

Discovering Common Ground

Illustrations at the YP Foundation highlight women in different roles. (Picture credit: Author)

In March, I got an opportunity to visit two organizations, the YP Foundation and the Aagaaz Theatre Trust, in Delhi, secured by the Professional Development Grant from AIF Banyan Impact Fellowship. This visit proved to be enlightening in numerous ways. Engaging with passionate individuals at these organizations left an indelible mark on me. Their unwavering commitment to their causes, their determination to drive change, and their capacity to lead this change were truly inspiring.

However, the most significant impact of the visit was how it fundamentally reshaped my understanding of children’s rights and empowerment. Despite differing methods, both organizations share a common belief: the urgent need for safe spaces where children can thrive without fear or judgment.

Nurturing Growth in Safe Spaces

In Indian society, there’s a lack of encouragement for making mistakes. Instead, they’re treated as a factor of judgment and an excuse for reprimand. There’s a heavy emphasis on achieving ‘perfection’, which manifests in an invisible curriculum dictating options for children from a young age, with top marks being the ultimate goal. This focus on academic success disregards the individuality of children. Their identity gains value by their ability to memorize and regurgitate information over their exam papers.

Such was the case for me as I was growing up in Kashmir. I was considered the best student in my class, and my parents proudly displayed my marksheet to anyone who would see. I could memorize pages of jargon without understanding a word of it, yet I was praised as if it were an achievement. However, when I shifted to a boarding school that prioritized alternate methods of education and postponed exams until boards, I felt lost. I no longer knew who I was or what I had to offer to the world.

While I was one of the privileged students who had access to what are referred to as ‘extra-curricular’ activities in the Indian education system, the majority do not have such opportunities. Against this backdrop, safe spaces, such as the ones offered by these organizations, become crucial incubators for growth, where mistakes are embraced as opportunities for learning and development and a child’s potential is seen to be much more than the numbers on their marksheet.

Kids drawing on a blackboard in the Aagaaz Theatre Trust (Picture credit: Author)

From Protection to Empowerment

Young girl engaged in a game of jenga (Picture credit: Author)

Another notable aspect of this visit was a substantial shift in my perspective regarding child agency and rights. During a discussion about child marriage, someone highlighted the importance of understanding why individuals under 18 might pursue marriage, urging us to consider this when addressing the issue. They shared anecdotes of encountering cases where children were determined to marry due to societal pressures, lacking the freedom to engage in relationships without facing family or societal backlash. This insightful perspective is frequently disregarded amidst the widespread call for banning child marriages.

Previously, I viewed children primarily through a lens of protection rather than empowerment. However, I’ve come to understand that a child’s insistence on marriage before 18 could stem from various factors, such as seeking refuge from a toxic environment or yearning for autonomy in a loving relationship. I now recognize the importance of treating them as equals whose voices are pivotal in matters concerning them.

Beyond Blanket Solutions

This realization has reshaped my approach to addressing child marriage within my own projects. While our goal remains the eradication of child marriage, it’s crucial to center the voices of children in our discourse. Their perspectives, experiences, and aspirations must guide our strategies for intervention and advocacy. They are not passive recipients of aid but active agents of change, deserving of both agency and respect. By creating safe spaces where their voices are valued and respected, these organizations lay the groundwork for a more compassionate society.

A group picture with the team of Aagaaz. (Picture credit: Shahid)

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