This topic matters to me because I’ve seen firsthand the cultural and familial pressure to view having a child as a solution to marital problems. In my family, elders often advise couples to have a baby to resolve conflicts or secure the marriage. This idea seems both illogical and unjust to me, as it places an enormous burden on an innocent child and ignores the root issues within the marriage. The fear of entering a potentially toxic marriage is compounded by the fear of being pushed into having a child to fix marital discord. This cultural narrative has made the idea of marriage itself frightening to me, highlighting the potential for emotional harm to both the spouses and any children involved.
Why I am talking about it?
Growing up, I often heard the advice, “Have a baby and everything will be fine,” given to couples experiencing marital strife. This advice wasn’t just a cliché from movies or TV shows; it was a genuine suggestion from my elders to my cousins, sisters, and aunts. I saw how this mindset pressured couples into having children, hoping it would mend their fractured relationships. However, instead of solving problems, it often led to more strain, as the responsibility of raising a child added to the existing issues. Couples who were not even bonded as true partners suddenly became parents, sometimes leading to further detachment and resentment.
Personally, this cultural expectation has made the concept of marriage daunting for me. In conversations with family members about my own future marriage plans, I expressed my fear of marrying someone who might turn out to be unsupportive or unkind. When I mentioned the possibility of divorce, my aunt casually advised that having a baby would prevent such an outcome. This advice struck me as not only impractical but also harmful, as it suggested using an innocent child as a tool to manipulate the marriage. My attempts to explain that a baby wouldn’t solve marital issues and could actually exacerbate them were met with laughter, reinforcing the deeply ingrained belief in this flawed solution.
You should care because…
Readers should care about this topic because the belief that having a baby can fix a toxic marriage is harmful and outdated. This misguided notion can lead to emotional and psychological damage for all involved, especially the child. Children in such environments may suffer from neglect and emotional turmoil, affecting their development and future relationships.
Even in our modern society, where stability is highly valued and even minor conflicts can lead to divorce, many couples still believe that a baby will save their marriage. This pressure from society and family prevents couples from addressing the root causes of their issues.
For the new generation, it’s important to challenge this belief and prioritize the well-being of both partners and children. Healthy resolutions like counseling should be encouraged, and bringing a child into the world should be a well-considered decision made in a stable environment. Addressing these issues can lead to healthier families and a more compassionate society.