Being born and raised in an Indian society that too in a family where the men were dominant and had an upper hand over females, I always witnessed the women of the family being tolerant and silent. I have especially observed my mother, like how she used to remain silent every time my father or someone in the family used to get angry at her or taunt her. One day, when I asked her, “Why mumma, why don’t you reply back?” she answered, “Your nani taught me to remain silent whenever there is a quarrel, as it will be good for my married life.”
Why I am talking about it?
When I got married, I received the same values and teachings from my mother, but somehow I was never convinced by them. I mean why to remain silent when you are right? Your point of view and self- respect are equally important. I want to clarify one thing here: that presenting your point of view doesn’t make you selfish or arrogant, though a lot of people will think you are once you fight for yourself.
You should care because…
I was surprised to acknowledge that a lot of parents deliver the same advice to their daughters to remain silent or not argue after marriage. Really, do parents think this will save their marriage? I believe this will further ruin their marriage. The thoughts, when unspoken, become poisonous and slowly kill the relationship. It’s always better to speak and move on.
When I look around, I witness so many marriages breaking just because of a lack of communication. Silence is one of the biggest barriers to communication. If the problem will not be communicated, how will the solution be known? It is very important to be vocal about your thoughts, opinions and views.
I believe silence is not the solution to the problems a girl faces in marriage. Silence only opens the path for depression, and someone will lose a life.