“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ~Mark Twain
Time is the most precious asset we’ve got. It means life, and it’s never coming back. In a world where everyone seems to be in a rush, it feels like time is flying. Not sure but when one is young, when he was a child, It felt like he had all the time in the world. Much later, as a grown-up man, always busy to do more and achieve more, he had to sign up for time management courses so that he could cope with stress and learn how to manage the hours.
Ageing is the time –related deterioration of the physiological functions necessary for survival. The phenotypic changes of senescence (which affect all members of species) are not to be confused with diseases of senescence (which affect individual.)
Like many other people I know, both women and men, they are terrified of the idea of growing older. As we grow older, we experience an increasing number of major life changes, including career transitions and retirement, children leaving home, the loss of loved ones, physical and health challenges –even a loss of independence. There comes a fear at the transition period .How we handle and grow from these changes is often the key to healthy aging.
So I’ve been asking myself this question: Where does this fear come from? What makes so many people scared of aging?
One explanation I’ve found comes from societal norms and culturally inherited limiting beliefs that influence our way of thinking and don’t serve us well.
If you grow up preparing yourself for the ageing process as if it will be a burden, that’s exactly how it will feel. It’s all about self-perception and the story we tell ourselves about whom we are becoming with passing time.
I grew up in Assamese society , India and I often hear , I am sixty now , I am sick , I am no longer young , my time has gone, I am 75 now etc. Not everyone thinks like this but mostly its common, growing old is supposed to bring suffering and pain. With no savings, many people feel unprepared, both mentally and financially, for retirement, and it’s quite common for retired people to get support from their children to pay their utilities and buy medicine or food. They tend to be dependent on others daily basis due to health related issues.
Few days back, I got to meet few old ladies who were learning new skills and discovering new hobbies for themselves. Some started to make some hand crafted products, some started learning painting; others were enhancing their singing skills etc . They even plan out for vacation , get-togethers and join clubs. They were thrilled to finally have all the time in the world for themselves, their wants, and their needs after they had dedicated a high amount of time and energy to their families or employers.
I found that very inspiring. That’s exactly how I want to experience my life once I grow older: as a new opportunity to learn, when every morning is a fresh start of our life. Despite the number of years and physical breakdown we need to find ways and make up our mind and control our emotions and fear. It’s actually the state of mind that overpowers and control our physical health.
If you’re afraid of ageing and everything that will entail, Here’s what will help and heal this fear, move on, and enjoy life –
1.Knowing that I am not what I do.
The truth is, societies generally value the younger generations, seen as a much-needed force in the working field. Ageing means wisdom and experience; but often much suffering as well. Many people hold the belief that, the older they get, the worse their quality of life will be, as if their worthiness in the world will vanish or fade. I’ve heard of people who got severely depressed when they retired because they felt their lives had no meaning apart from working.
I can think of so many different kinds of activities that can bring us tremendous joy and fulfillment once we retire! Spending quality time with our dear ones, enjoying the small pleasures of life, traveling, practicing our hobbies, learning new skills, being involved in charity projects, making a difference in the world, and so on.
“You are a human being, not a human doing.” ~Wayne Dyer
2.Love yourself: mind, body, and soul.
In the same way that I am not what I do, I am not my body. My spirit refuses to be put in a box or labeled. If I identify my human value through my physical appearance, the process of aging turns into a burden.
No matter our age, our bodies are the vehicles of our spirit—the temple of our souls and the only ones we’ve got. We have to start taking care of our body: We need to exercise more and give it nutritious food and plenty of water. We have to make sure we find the time for those necessary doctor appointments and yearly health checks. When we invest in our physical health, we make a long-lasting investment in our future. Happiness is a mental and emotional state of being; it comes as a result of the choices we make. It’s all about attitude, perspective, and what we make age mean to us. We all are what we believe.
“Growing older is inevitable; ageing is optional.”~Dr . Northrup
3.Shifting perspective.
What would open up for you if you knew your age was nothing but a number? Once I decided to look at the process of growing older with compassion and see it as a gift not everyone receives in life, everything changed.
We create our own reality through the way we think and the story we tell ourselves about each and every experience.
We need to know there will be lots of good things for us to enjoy once we grow old. Firstly, we will have all the time in the world for ourselves and we will make sure to fill it up beautifully, doing things we enjoy, traveling more, spending more quality time with friends, learning new things, and practicing new hobbies.
“We need to revise how we think of ageing. The old paradigm was: You’re born, you peak at midlife, and then you decline into decrepitude. Looking at aging as ascending a staircase, you gain well-being, spirit, soul, wisdom, the ability to be truly intimate and a life with intention.” ~Jane Fonda