In a world captivated by aesthetics and appearances, the concept of beauty has evolved into an intricate tapestry woven from societal expectations, media influence, and personal perceptions. While beauty truly rests in the eyes of the beholder, the unfortunate truth is that unrealistic beauty standards often cloud our self-perception, leading us to question our worth and identity.
From glossy magazine covers of Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Femina, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, and others to carefully curated social media feeds of actors and beauty influencers, and even within the narratives of popular films and dramas, we are bombarded with images of an idealized beauty that seems both unattainable and homogeneous. These standards, set by society’s ever-changing norms, force us into a perpetual cycle of self-doubt and comparison.
As a dusky girl who spent half of my life encountering hurtful comments, jokes, and belittlement, I remember a poignant incident from my childhood that highlighted the harsh reality of these beauty standards. During my fourth-grade year, I participated in the Founder’s Day skit. I portrayed one of the fairies, positioned at the back of the stage. The event pictures were proudly displayed on the notice board, and I eagerly looked for my presence. To my dismay, I found myself absent in most of the photos. In one picture where I was barely visible, I approached my event teacher for an explanation. She attributed it to a possible mistake and suggested I could participate the following year. This incident shattered my excitement.
On my way back to class, I was confronted by a group of so-called “cool” girls. They cruelly remarked that my absence in the pictures was due to my supposed ugliness. Their words were like daggers, leaving me shocked and wounded. I shared my pain with my teacher, only to receive a superficial response that did little to soothe my hurt. This experience made me realize how the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards not only erodes our self-esteem but also makes us feel inherently worthless.
The burden of unrealistic beauty standards is often heaviest on women and girls. According to a recent survey, 81% of women feel societal pressure to adhere to beauty standards, dictating how they should look, dress, and behave. As societal expectations increase, expressing our true selves becomes a challenge fraught with the fear of judgment. Common comments such as ‘apply some cream to make yourself fair,’ perpetuating the fairness ideal pushed by brands like Fair & Lovely, ‘don’t go out, or you’ll become darker,’ reinforcing the stigma around darker skin tones, ‘don’t eat too much, or you’ll get fat,’ aligning with the narrative pushed by various weight-loss products and slimming teas like Lipton, and ‘wear heels to appear taller,’ mirroring the emphasis on height often marketed by shoe and fashion brands, are all too prevalent.
We are in 2024, but Indian culture remains fixated on traditional ideals of fairness, slimness, and physical attractiveness, particularly in the context of selecting an ideal bride. This ingrained checklist, still adhered to by groom’s families, places significant pressure on brides and their families. The pursuit of these criteria often results in demands for dowry and additional gifts. While conforming to societal beauty standards may offer some respite for certain individuals, those deemed unattractive face heightened challenges, subjecting them and their families to emotional trauma and societal taunts.
This unrelenting pressure to be perfect can lead to a host of negative consequences. According to the World Health Organization, body dysmorphia and eating disorders fueled by unrealistic body images promoted by various brands are on the rise. Mental health issues like anxiety and depression are also exacerbated by the constant reinforcement of unattainable beauty standards in advertisements, movies, and dramas. It’s crucial to acknowledge that these standards perpetuate harmful stereotypes and undermine the diverse beauty that exists in all individuals.
This toxicity is not limited to any specific culture. South Korea is renowned for its demanding beauty standards, and the popular dramas “My ID is Gangnam Beauty” and “True Beauty” depicted the portrayal of how societal expectations contribute to insecurities and difficulties, particularly for young girls striving to conform to these ideals. Both K-dramas intricately examine the emotional and psychological toll of appearance-related insecurities, bullying, and the pursuit of transformation. In “My ID is Gangnam Beauty,” Kang Mi Rae undergoes plastic surgery in an attempt to escape the torment of childhood bullying, only to grapple with the intricacies of her new identity and societal pressures. Similarly, in “True Beauty,” Lim Ju Gyeong utilizes makeup as a means to conceal her perceived flaws and navigate the challenges of high school life.
Beauty standards are a web that, even if we strive to meet them, subjects us to judgment for every aspect of our bodies, from head to toe. Attempting to conform to unrealistic beauty ideals can be a futile and emotionally taxing endeavor. The pursuit of an ever-shifting ideal can leave us feeling inadequate, constantly chasing an unattainable goal. Moreover, the energy expended in this pursuit often diverts us from more meaningful endeavors, such as personal growth, self-discovery, and cultivating genuine relationships.
I realized that outer appearance is not everything, and understanding that our value extends far beyond appearances is the first step toward breaking free from the shackles of unrealistic standards. Authenticity is a wellspring of power, it empowers us to appreciate our unique qualities, quirks, and imperfections, all of which contribute to our beauty.
By acknowledging our worth independent of societal judgment, we can reclaim our confidence and strength. Instead of striving to meet someone else’s idea of beauty, we can focus on nurturing our well-being, pursuing our passions, and fostering self-love. This transformation is not only empowering for ourselves but also sets a positive example for others, inspiring them to embrace their authenticity as well. As we unburden ourselves from the weight of unrealistic beauty standards, we pave the way for a society that celebrates diversity and individuality in all its forms.