TW: Death, inequality, homophobia, bullying
3 February 2024 was just another monotonous day for many. But it wasn’t the same for Ajay*. It was an unforgettable day for him. His partner Joby* had accidentally fallen from the terrace while talking to someone on phone. Ajay was sleeping. He was awakened by others and he got panicked. Joby had sustained many serious injuries. He remained in a critical condition for two days in a reputed private hospital in Kerala. On 4 February 2024, at 11:14 pm, Joby was declared dead.
Yes, they were those two bitter days for one of the publicly out gay couples in Kerala. Eyebrows got raised, right? Gay, lesbian, bisexual – all those new terms indeed got the eyebrows of many raised! It was the same for Joby’s family. They realised that their son was one of those ‘odious creatures’, and they disowned him immediately. Ajay was his world from then, and then entered some beautiful human beings who could hug them close to their hearts.
But the bitter events didn’t end there. Now that Joby was dead, his body needed to be given to his family for the final procedures. A heartbroken Ajay came forward. But the hospital administration said: “Although you two considered yourselves a couple, you weren’t valid legally. So we can’t give you his body, Ajay. We will only give his body to his natal family.” Joby’s natal family was contacted. No response till now. Yes, till now. It was quite easy to predict.
Joby’s body still lies in the mortuary and queer solidarities are going strong and adamant for a dignified cremation. But didn’t this suggest something beyond a death? For people with sense and a bit of humanity in their heart, yes. A common man’s death talking a lot about the whole legal system of the country, personal becoming political.
As mentioned above, Joby and Ajay were one of the publicly out gay couples in Kerala, in India . That itself talks a lot about the scenario of queer couples in India, many of them who are parts of solidarities and small groups. Privileged people are forming NGOs. But there too, factions exist.
Many queer persons have their own political inclinations and obviously some belong to the apolitical bubble. Some belong to explicit right wing organisations who are cold and mostly obverse about queer rights. And although many of the queer organisations are pressuring the parliament for getting legal validation, no effort goes successful, except for some sporadic ones like the 2018 judgement which decriminalized same sex relations. In 2023, despite there was a series of hearing on marriage equality, there still wasn’t any ray of hope. This clearly has to shatter the privileged Savarna upper class queer man’s Indian utopia. But it isn’t complete.
When other countries like Estonia and Thailand and moving forward, India stands still, putting the lives of its queer citizens at stake. Cyber bullying against queer people is at a high 53% in India according to a UNESCO study as of 2023. Twenty to forty percent of youth experiencing homelessness self-identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer, as of 2015. Queer people It might surely have got increased by these ten years. There needs a lot of homework from the part of legislature, executive and judiciary.
*Names changed to protect anonymity. Based on a real case. Views are personal.
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