This night am dealing questions that are bigger than myself and greater than myself.
” How did my family become a toxic family?’
” How could i restore the fallen house of Harshaman Daniel?’
The presence in my parents home for just 10 days, made me infinitely sad and depressed.
The problem is my parents are self-righteous like the Pharisees. In fact Aurum and Vivek are self righteous too. Maybe not as much as my parents yet.
” What turns people into critical and self righteous, pointing fingers at others human beings?’
I showed them the serious problems at home to my parents, like Christ did to Israel, and just like Israel had failed to see Christ as the Messiah, my parents failed to see the persisting problem.
John encourages me to try go fix my broken home. But any relationship for it to be fixed needs effort from two sides.
Of course, i forgave my parents and have nothing against them. But i cannot trust them. Trust has to be earned, i cannot just magically hand it over, in words of Elena herself from the TV show The Vampire Diaries.
I do not want to be useless martyr suffering and dying in a pool of toxicity. Instead, i will build the ones who needed help. Its very unwise to slay my mental health at the altar of “fixing home’.
I spoke with my biological father for like less than a minute, and that had made me infinite sad.
What is this existence and Alpha level of toxicity?
There are no answers. So i just pray to God, for my parents.