In the bustling metropolis of Delhi, the culture of work and leisure is deeply intertwined with gender dynamics. Women, traditionally seen as caregivers and homemakers, face the challenge of balancing work and family responsibilities, often leaving little room for leisure pursuits. Indian women spend an average of 299 minutes per day on unpaid domestic work, while men spend only 97 minutes on the same. This gendered division of labour significantly impacts how men and women engage with work and leisure, creating stark contrasts in their experiences.
Interviews with 12 women from diverse backgrounds across Delhi revealed that women’s challenges in balancing their responsibilities and finding time for themselves are not unique to working women, but homemakers too. The responses highlight the complex impact of domestic work on women’s stress levels, which vary depending on factors such as family size, financial situation, and relationship with a partner.
Women’s Challenges in Finding Time and Space to Relax and Unwind
One respondent, Abida Tabassum, a married homemaker, finds domestic work satisfying and relaxing. However, Madiha Khanam, an unmarried working woman, sees it stressful, and a Ph.D. scholar Lopamudra Boruah, unmarried, struggles to balance it with her studies. Domestic work stress can be compounded by multiple responsibilities and lack of self-care, says Rajkumari, a married working woman. The impact of domestic work on women’s stress levels extends beyond the immediate tasks.
The ongoing stress cycle and the intricate task of juggling household responsibilities along with other commitments pose a significant challenge for women.
Sheeza Ghazal, a single mother emphasized this point, saying, “Whether it’s planning a shopping trip or setting aside time for self-pampering, I have to complete all the chores independently in advance. Despite allocating time for myself, I find myself back at work after a few hours. Finding personal time can be a formidable task for homemakers.”
Swati Singh, a married working woman, says societal expectations and lack of recognition can make domestic work even more stressful.
When women prioritize their careers or personal interests over domestic chores, they may face criticism or judgment, leading to feelings of guilt. Kaneez Sayeeda (married working woman) highlights the unique challenge faced by her, expressing that not participating in household chores can feel odd within the family.
She says, “Even if you’re working outside and not doing chores at home, it can still be an issue, and you won’t receive praise. After that, finding time for yourself becomes nearly impossible.”
Additionally, the societal pressure for women to meet unrealistic standards of perfection creates a perpetual concern about external judgment, making it tough for them to unwind and savor moments of relaxation. However, not all work environments are conducive to stress reduction. In contrast, Alimunnisha (married working woman) who runs her own gym, finds that her work provides a sense of relaxation and stress relief. She attributes this to the positive interactions she has with clients and the satisfaction of helping others improve their health and well-being.
She says, “Regarding the household chores, I feel that I receive support. My husband is very supportive. He cleans the dishes at night, and he made parathas this morning. That’s why it becomes manageable, and I am satisfied.”
Firdaus Azmat Siddique, a married working woman, finds stress relief in writing. She has written two novels and is working on a third. “Writing is propelling,” she says. “My job never used to stress me out; in fact, it was a stress buster for me. I used to work even in the summers and winters without taking any breaks, and my leaves would accumulate.”
Nameera Khan, an unmarried working woman, expresses the contemporary struggle with time scarcity, where even completing a few tasks consumes the entire day, leaving little room for relaxation. The implication is that the majority of leisure and unwinding activities must be deferred to the weekends, emphasizing the limited availability of time on weekdays.
Conversely, Chetna Naskar, an unmarried working woman),added, “The primary hurdles I encounter in my quest for relaxation and unwinding are the constraints of time and the limitations of available space.”
Chetna’s desire for spontaneous breaks or late-night outings after a strenuous workday is hindered by societal expectations tied to her gender. This restriction reinforces the notion of time poverty, where the freedom to allocate time for personal enjoyment is constrained by external factors.
Cross-Cultural Analysis of Relaxation Strategies
After a long day, everyone needs a way to unwind and relax. But what are the most popular ways to do this in Delhi? A cross-cultural analysis of relaxation strategies reveals a diverse range of preferences among women in Delhi. From leisurely strolls and browsing YouTube to sleeping, having tea, or engaging in hobbies, each woman I spoke to has her unique way of unwinding.
To find out, I asked women to share their favourite ways to relax. Here’s what they said:
- Abida: Exercising in Gym, taking a leisurely stroll on the terrace, browsing YouTube, going to the market, getting some sleep and going Jama Masjid
- Madiha: Walking on the terrace & looking at the sky, watching Anime or Korean series.
- Alimunnisha: Sleeping at home, sitting quite alone (quiet solitude)
- Ayesha: A cup of tea and creative through her artistic ability, visiting Sunder Nursery and Firoz Shah Fort.
- Swati: 10-15 min nap, Dinner with her husband, watching TV (movies on Saturdays with popcorn, burgers, and coke), Journal writing
- Rajkumari: Ordering food, using social media, spending time with children in community center, NFC
- Sheeza: Going to the salon, cafe or restaurant, surfing sites, and shopping.
- Chetna: Relaxing in a cafe with friends or at home, friends’ home with good food, discussion on a good movie, historical places, malls, and gardens.
- Kaneez: Watching Korean dramas, eating street food, and going to the society parks
- Nameera: Talking to her mother/best friend, Journal writing, and good food
- Firdaus: Writing, reading, exploring historical places (Mehrauli & Hauz Khas), and traditional exhibitions (special place Dastkar in Chattarpur)
- Lopa: Taking a nap, exercising, going for a walk in the park (Deer park & Nehru Park), visiting historical places, bookstores, traditional handloom marketplaces (Dilli Haat & Dastkar), meditating, and reading favorite books.
In a bustling city like Delhi, it can be hard to find a place to relax. But there are a few hidden gems where locals go to unwind and escape the hustle and bustle. Hence, women make time for well-being in different ways. So, Sunder Nursery is one such place.
On this Madiha said, “I have been there alone a couple of times, and I have also been there five times in total. Every time, it has a different vibe with different people.”
Another popular spot for relaxation is Feroz Shah Kotla. Ayesha says, “Places like Sundar Nursery and Feroz Shah Fort are excellent for calming the mind and relaxation.”
If you’re looking for a more active way to relax, Swati suggests taking a long drive on Sundays. If you’re looking for a place to socialize, Rajkumari and Nameera both recommend Jamia Nagar’s Community Center, New Friends Colony. And of course, no list of places to relax in Delhi would be complete without mentioning street food. Kaneez is a big fan of street food, and she says that it’s a great way to relax and enjoy the city’s culture. Alimunnisha and Swati both prefer to relax at home. Alimunnisha finds her room to be the most relaxing place, while Swati finds her home to be the best place for spiritual and mental relaxation. Lopa prefers to relax in bookstores. Prof. Firdaus prefers to relax in historical places, traditional exhibitions, and a special place called Dastkar in Chattarpur.
Bettering leisure for Delhi’s women
There are a number of ways in which Delhi could be more supportive of women’s well-being. The government could install more streetlights and security cameras in public spaces and the police could also increase patrols in these areas. Chetna also points out that women are time-space-bound in Delhi, limited in their ability to move around freely and safely, especially at night. Several women told me emphasized the importance of raising awareness about women’s rights and well-being, both in schools and in the community.
These stories offer a hopeful glimpse into the future, as more and more women in Delhi are challenging traditional gender roles and creating their own definitions of success and well-being. As society continues to evolve, it is crucial to recognize the importance of domestic work and the impact it has on women’s lives. Encouraging a more equitable division of labor within households, providing support systems for women juggling multiple responsibilities, and promoting a culture of self-care are essential steps in addressing the stress associated with domestic work and promoting the well-being of women.
This story has been written as part of the My City Writers’ Training Program.