Among all these great sitcoms, I have always turned to F.R.I.E.N.D.S for peace. Whenever I felt sad, happy, or lonely, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It’s not the wit or humour that made this show the most loved one; it was the bonding of those six that made it extraordinary. They’ve become our friends—a part of our lives.
That’s why losing Chandler feels like losing a part of ourselves. His humour, quirks, and underlying vulnerability made him universally relatable. Whether he’s using sarcasm to deflect from his insecurities or finding love and growth in unexpected places, there’s a bit of Chandler in all of us.
But playing this character had a massive impact on Matthew Perry’s life. He had been battling addiction since his early twenties, which continued during the years he was filming F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Immediately after the pilot, the show became a global phenomenon, catapulting its six main actors, including Matthew, to unparalleled levels of fame and recognition.
Dealing with the pressures of fame, public scrutiny, and a constant spotlight was extremely overwhelming for Matthew, and the huge success of the show made his addiction even worse than before. In one of his interviews, Matthew said he had never watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S because he could see his body changing throughout the seasons as he jumped from one addiction to another.
When the last scene of Friends was shot, everyone burst into tears, but he felt nothing, and he did not know whether it was the opioid he was taking or just innate numbness. It is tough to believe that Chandler, in whom we saw peace and comfort, Matthew saw something completely different.
Then again, Chandler’s character had qualities with which Matthew could resonate. While auditioning for the role, he felt like he “was that guy”. Chandler’s personality was shaped by his troubled childhood, particularly his parents’ dysfunctional relationship. Matthew, too, had a challenging upbringing that affected him. Both Chandler and Matthew experienced significant personal growth and transformation.
Chandler started as the awkward, commitment-phobic character in the early seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and evolved into a more mature, loving, and self-assured person by the series’ end. Similarly, Matthew’ ‘s real-life journey through addiction and recovery reflected personal growth and the ability to overcome challenges.
It’s fascinating how remarkably open Matthew had been about his struggles with addiction and mental health. He used his platform to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these issues. He founded The Perry House, a sober living home to provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals in recovery.
This facility helped people transition from addiction treatment programs to independent, sober living. He later sold the facility to start a cheaper one, as it was difficult to run the business from Malibu. In one of his interviews, Perry said, “The best thing about me is that if an alcoholic comes up to me and says, ‘Will you help me stop drinking?’ I will say, ‘Yes. I know how to do that.'”
Matthew was as amazing as the character he played. He was the reason why Chandler seemed to strike a chord with so many of us. He was the guy next door, a friend who would help you to get back on your feet, a friend who would pay your rent when you have no money, a friend who would make a Joey Room for you to grow old.
Several deaths felt like a personal loss to me: Chester Bennington, Irrfan Khan, KK. But I have never felt scared before. That’s what happens when one of our comfort characters dies. How are we supposed to let go of someone who has been there for us in every phase of our lives? I guess we can’t.