“Could you talk to my husband over there? He’s going through a tough time, trying to accept who he really is,” my wife asked a transwoman at a café.
I got married to a woman many years ago because of the pressure from society and because I was afraid to be myself. During our entire marriage, I hid the truth about who I really was. It took me 35 years to find the courage to tell her, “I’m gay. I feel like I’m not being honest with you.” Her response surprised me, “What? Why have you been hiding it for so long? I feel bad for you. Thank you for being honest.” To my amazement, she welcomed me with open arms. I also told her about my partner after some time, and she happily accepted our relationship. My wife and I are now raising a 20-year-old child together, not as a couple, but as friends.
Growing up in the 80s at a place like Meerut was very scary for me to even think about being gay. To hide that, I also dated girls. During college , I started exploring my identity and dated some guys but having those unsuccessful relationships never gave me that strength to come out.
My wife not only accepted me but also encouraged me to talk about my true self. She was the one who introduced me to groups of LGBTQ+ people like 6 degrees, which helped me understand the idea of being part of a community. We decided to have an open marriage and create our own unique partnership.
After coming out 14 years ago, I’ve learned that it’s important to speak up to make yourself heard. I see many young LGBTQ+ people coming out and finding a sense of belonging in their community. Our home has become a place where different support groups for LGBTQ+ people gather.
My boyfriend and I are two lucky guys who were understood and supported by our wives. This allowed us to finally live our lives the way we wanted to after years of hiding.