We think we are more intelligent, wise, and aware of everything happening around us and within the world than our parents. However, we don’t care about and understand them. At one point in our life, when we have grown up, we might have failed to acknowledge the sacrifices they made towards raising us and making us responsible. All I am writing in this article are my reflections on my life experiences that I want to share with you all.
My relationship with my mom is so selfless, pure, and unconditional love that I have for her. I cannot forgive how much effort and contributions she made to us. She gave us that valuable education that will always remain with us. She taught us how to respect everyone, keep faith in God’s power, and carry on our good moral character in our family and society. She made us who we are today.
She is a brave woman. She single-handedly fought against all odds in her life. Many of my family members know very well that her life was full of misery, misfortune, and hardships. She was betrayed by the infidelity of her first husband, traumatized by the murder of her second husband, and cheated by the families of his two wives. In all the bad times and the face of the situation, today my mother is seen working abroad. So that she can live the rest of her life peacefully and be happy. She had to go abroad one day to another unknown country because she had grown too old with such poisonous people and the blind laws of this country.
What are the difficulties a widow has to face in this ‘Kalyug period’ despite her two young sons being well-educated, capable of handling the expenses of the house, and can fulfill all their needs? But my mother is very selfish. She is never dependent on our earnings and I pray to the Almighty that she should never expect from us. Why? Because she is an independent woman and she always will be. Throughout her life, she never imposed her responsibility on both of us brothers.
When I look back at my mother’s past life, I feel very dejected and sad. I feel very sad that my mother was never properly recognized by her people and relatives. The real identity of my mother is like “Lord Krishna” who lived for his family and his people for any reason. She always took care of others without thinking about herself. My mother is no less than anyone and there will be other mothers on this earth like her but no one can be like my mother.
She never got respect, status, and equality in her in-law’s home and society where she lived for about two decades. She went through every obstacle in her life. She never openly shared her life struggles, broken marriage issues, and pain within her with me and not with my younger brother. My father’s siblings and his relatives secluded and cornered her in every family function, including us. We didn’t receive any financial support, domestic help, and attention as my cousin’s family because my father was earning less.
He was a carpenter. Hardly has he ever worked for anyone else. He never bothered us. He never supported my mother in meeting the daily needs of our life. I remember when I was just ten years old, I saw my mom going out of our home to work. My mother used to leave us in the care of our ‘Chachi’ so that she can work in her office in peace, and return home somewhere 8 or 9 p.m.
This was her life routine. Every single day she used to send us to school, and when it was evening, we used to see our mother’s face. My mother’s job, taking care of us, and running the entire household’s expenses alone went on for some 10 to 15 years. My father had a 0% contribution to our upbringing. We never got the love and care that we got from our mother.
I never saw my father doing something or working purposely for the better future of his children than any other dad will do. They will open a fixed deposit in their child’s name or protect their child’s future by saving their hard-earned money in their bank accounts. My mother used to work day and night. For most of her life journey, she worked for someone to feed us and give us all comforts and privileges of life.
In my childhood days, this was the worst experience that I had. Every relative labeled us as being poor. There was a time when we needed help or support from any one of our close family members. That situation was the harsh reality of life that not even a single person in the big joint family came forward in our difficult times. We have gone hustle alone. We have to struggle hard enough to meet end needs. We have lonely to get up from severe life trials or circumstances because no one else will do it for us.
When my mom left my childhood place and the home of my grandfather, she was having nothing with her. All she earned is her hard work and dedication. I feel blessed to be born in her womb, but I am very unfortunate that I am doing nothing so special or substantial to make herself proud of me or at least make her feel satisfied that her son is independently living his life.
When my mother visited India for the second time, she inquired about my well-being, if I was handling my family’s daily costs, and whether I was caring for my newborn kid. She was somehow not very delighted to know that I was still earning less in today’s competitive world.
In one of our bitter arguments, I said angrily to my mom, “Who is there here to support me. Everyone keeps advising me to earn well, do I am not doing enough for my family. I am doing my best to do whatever I can to bring money to my wife’s hand after the end’s daily struggle. She can do whatever she wants to spend on that earned salary. Is that not enough to live a life happily”. “Besides this, I am looking for salary growth and giving interviews at various companies but I am not getting fruitful responses. Despite all my attempts, why I am called an irresponsible person or a useless father?”
My mom replied, “You are saying you are alone here. There is no one to help you in any way. Tell me kid, who is there with your mom in Dubai? I am alone left by myself. Your mom is struggling harder than you. If you think in this direction that a meager salary is enough to live happily. You are wrong and misguided, my dear son. Once come to my place and live my life for one day, then you will realize how badly I am struggling”.
I was to some extent correct in my opinion but my mother removed the veil from my eyes of my own made world. For me, my mother is like a friend and a good spiritual and life-time guide like Krishna who will prevent me from going on the wrong path. I promise her that I will remain her dear friend and true follower like Arjuna.