Site icon Youth Ki Awaaz

“My Life Has Always Been Difficult For Me”

Young adult man in warm black overcoat standing alone and staring at small waves of sea and colorful sunset light in sky. Peaceful atmosphere in winter evening. Back view.

I never thought in my life that I would have to see this time that I would have to sacrifice my desires and live for the happiness of others. If I talk from the beginning, there has never been such a time in my life that I was very happy. When a person is happy only when something good is happening in his life. From childhood to youth and now when I am a father, husband, and son, nothing was easy for me. Whatever I wanted in life, I got it but with a lot of effort.

It has always happened to me that everyone took advantage of my innocence, politeness, and loyalty. I always helped everyone. And I never back down from doing this noble work. Always have to help someone at all times; I have helped my family, my relatives, my friends, and people outside. As a child, I was raised in an unforgiving environment where everyone made fun of my slow learning, weak mind, and weak body. Don’t know how many children must have had to face the kind of neighborhood I grew up in.

We lived in a typical joint family where I was humiliated every time. Because I was not as smart, intelligent, and strong as the rest of my cousins. I used to face a lot of taunts, scolding, and beatings from my uncle, my parents, maternal grandparents, and maternal uncle for my every small mistake and ignorance. Just make sure you understand that my childhood was very bad and the experience of “Hum Saat Saat Hai” was the worst experience of my life.

As I grew older, my difficulties started increasing. Even today my relatives call me by the same names which they used to call me in childhood. Like “Hendra, Haula, and Ghetla”. In childhood, I used to retaliate; rather I used to fight whoever used to taunt me constantly. As I grew up, I kept ignoring these things. Today I feel that do not silence people by using their annoying words, otherwise, your tongue will become bitter. You silence them with your courage, success, and fame. Till you do not achieve these three things, keep on doing a lot of hard work.

I took some such decisions in my life because of which I had to struggle a lot and suffer a lot. For the sake of my mother, I left my wife and 9-month-old baby alone and came here to Dubai to live with my mother. I told you that there are many problems in my life. It was a very difficult decision for me. I wish my mother could understand how difficult it was for me to come to her after leaving my wife and small child in my hometown.

I agree that my mother is living in this unknown city for the last 2 years. But neither I nor my wife ever pushed her out of our house. She will never understand this. Because she does what she thinks is right. I took a decision when my mother called me to Dubai after 3 months of my marriage. I told her that I cannot come because my mind has changed. I tried to explain to her a lot, convincing her that I am happy there. I will do something in my life; I want to stay close to my pregnant wife. At that time my mother could not understand anything of mine. She had become stubborn. Even today she is addicted to her stubbornness.

Because of this decision of mine, perhaps I hurt my mother. But she embarrassed me and my wife in front of all our relatives. After that, no one even called us to inquire about our well-being. We were all left by ourselves. Now, when I am with her, living in the same building on the same floor, might her relatives have spared us? But, I don’t damn care about those narrow-minded and one-sided thinkers.

I clearly remember when my uncle, an elder brother to my mother, visited our home. He said I heard from my sister you are going to Dubai for a job search on a visit visa. I answered you heard it right. I am soon planning to go to Dubai. The point here was that he was happy that I was going to Dubai to meet my mother regardless of my past experiences with embroiled conflicts between my mother and us.

After marriage, a man should be given space to live his new married life. Freedom should be given so that he can take every good and bad decision by himself. My mother always kept me in her arms, away from everyone. I cannot take the decisions of my life myself, so I do not have the right to take any decisions in my life. I feel the same way about myself, about my life. My mother did not leave any other choice for me. I have to come to Dubai after all. Under what circumstances did I come over here? No one knows this better than me. I have debt on my head and there is debt of banks and people.

I can do everything in my life. I can achieve this in life by going through a lot. But my mother has no faith in me. No one trusts me except my wife. She asked her friend for money on interest to send me here to Dubai. That poor girl is fighting with her family members for me. She is trusting me that I will struggle and find a good job for the sake of my child. I don’t want to break her trust. I love her very much. Then for the sake of that love, I am trying here, hunting for jobs from morning to evening.

Whatever time comes in life, good or bad. Man always makes mistakes. I was also wrong. But I know how to correct my past mistakes and am very well aware of coming out of bad times or the worst circumstances of life. The way my mother kept me and my brother in her care and brought up. I will not bring up my children in the same way but in a different way.

I will definitely tell them these lessons of life that son when you grow up, you will start taking your own decisions, and then take them very carefully. Look at the two sides of the coin and do what you think is right. I will always try I will not cause any kind of trouble to my children by my own nature.

Even if I fall alone, I will give them the freedom to do whatever they want to do. If my children want to be with me in my old age, then I will be with them and if they do not want to keep me with them, then I will not say anything to them. Just I will make my house in some other tree. Without saying anything to them.

Sometimes if they come to my house to meet me, I will meet them with an open heart and sometimes if they call me to their house on any occasion, I will happily go there, and enjoy the party with them. I would like to remain exactly like this with my children. They will get the benefit of everything from me, and I will live my old age in the company of my God.

Exit mobile version