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Why Is ‘Kanyadaan’ Only Done By Fathers?

A few days back, I attended a wedding and we were from the bride’s side. Now, this girl, born and brought up in the city, educated, working, intelligent and bold, is also the eldest among three, with two younger brothers. As she has always been on the right path, has always worked hard, and supported the family, she also commands and takes major decisions as far as her younger brothers are concerned. But because they are connected to their roots, their village, so according to them, the girl was now too old to be staying single. Her marriage was a BIG concern for all relatives, which obviously was a major reason for her parents being under constant pressure. And so finally, the marriage was fixed.

So as we were attending the marriage ceremony, after a few rituals came the most important part – The Kanyadaan. Here was where my thoughts started floating. 

Technically, the kanyadaan is done by the father… which means the mother never gives away her lifeline, her daughter away. So, the connection remains intact forever. Another aspect of this ritual may be thought of in a completely different way.

The man who is also the father, is the head of the family. This head of the family gives the daughter’s responsibility to another male person, to be fulfilled for the rest of his life. Does that mean, a girl’s life is bound to be controlled by men, with the mother just being a partner in the rituals and a helpless spectator??

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