(Trigger Warning: Emotional substance)
20.2.20
Friday
It’s 1: 30 at night, Mummy and Daddy are fast asleep now, thinking that I would continue to study till dawn breaks as per my routine, but contrary to their beliefs I am not doing it tonight. In fact, I am not doing it for last many nights, yes, I remained up late in the night with my books on but my thoughts are just out of my control. I can’t focus on a single thing, no matter how hard I try! A roller coaster ride of varying thoughts keeps rolling in my head without a finite direction and dimension. There is a lot I want to talk about, but unsure with whom and how? After a week of sleepless nights and the constant dilemma of how to share my thoughts.. I have decided to pen it down.
23.2.2020
Monday
I really want those new earphones launched last week. Sleek, smart and costly, but daddy isn’t agreeing to buy it. All my friends have trendy gadgets only i am deprived of these luxuries. My parents never understand my needs. All what they care about is grades, performance and competition. Whenever I try to convince them for new smart device , what I get is an hour long preaching and stories from their childhood. I am fed up!
24.2.20
Tuesday
Grrr… Mumma checked my bag!
How can she? Is there a word called privacy in this house? She checked into my personal stuff without my consent, found my valentine’s gifts and now furious on me. If she can’t comprehend my feelings, why she keeps check on me?
I am seventeen and can take care of personal affairs. Is it a foreign fact for my parents? And for heaven’s sake, I need privacy.
1.3.20
Sunday
I am super excited today, don’t think gonna have a bit of sleep tonight. Tomorow I am going to have a sleep over with my friends along with my girlfriend. I am excited, nervous, panic all at the same time.
3.3.20
Tuesday
Ah! What a wonderful night it was! I’m so full of different feelings, I can’t wait till late at night to write it down.
We had a lot of fun at night and had made almost anything but study.
Night was full of fun, laughter and love.
5.3.20
Thursday
Board exams are just round the corner, time to focus on study.
21.4.20
Tuesday
Exams are over and so is my will to live. No, it’s not only a statement but the harsh truth of my life.
The Indian education system along with parents, create havoc of mental pressure on us to meet certain norms of competition. There is a continuous quest for excellence,without the basic understanding of difference of beings.90’s isn’t enough, you must get 99. Study, study and study. Forget yourself, forget about your choices, study one more chapter, one more hour, one more day, perhaps one more life!
We are so done with it that my girlfriend attempted suicide. She was saved by the attentiveness of her pet, but her soul died there.
If little did her parents know that painters can also lead a successful life, her dreams wouldn’t have killed so mercilessly, neither did her spirit. Not only hers, but mine too.
This work is completely fictional.