The past three months have been extremely difficult for me. Heartbreak, trauma, and physical health issues all came together to knock me down. First a heartbreak. Then I got a disc bulge in my back which is very painful because it gave me nerve pain that is indescribable. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t pee, and I could barely sit or sleep. The heartbreak did not make it any easier. I used to cry during my commute listening to songs and then I had to put on a happy face for work. My housekeeper, neighbors, and office colleagues who didn’t even know me very well could figure it out. They asked me if I was okay.
Sometimes, I would break down while telling them I was okay. I wanted someone to hold my hands and hug me so that I could cry my heart out. But I had no one to do so. I was scared that I was back in 2018 when I was going through the same trauma but then I realized that I was handling it well. I know now that I got better because I processed it, took time to heal, and did not hurt anyone else in the process.
During these three months, I was in extreme pain – physically and mentally. It was difficult for me to sleep, get out of bed or stay in bed. I felt so alone, I craved a hug, I craved for a voice to tell me that it was going to be okay. I just kept hearing the voice of my mentor – “This too shall pass”. I remembered him in my thoughts, at times I messaged him and asked him for his blessings because I felt I could not make it to the next day.
I am still in my healing journey, recovered but not completely. I am able to work and will resume going to work tomorrow. I will miss going to the gym for another month or so. These three months made me realize that I have come a long way in my healing journey and in life. I can handle heartbreaks and whatever life throws at me in a healthier way by myself. I am not scared of being alone anymore. So here is to life’s ups and downs and to my journey .