Many of us are hopeless romantics, always looking for the ‘fairytale love’ that we see in movies, and read in conventional and idealistic poetry. Even though barely a possibility, we still like to believe in the idea that someday such a love would be achievable. People like us just can’t think of a life that is deprived of romantic love, and the thrill of commitment, even when we are ourselves on the edge of life, so much so that we are certain one wrong step would cause us to fall off the cliff, and it all would come falling apart. Herein lays the baffling irony, because even after knowing it all full well, we are more than willing to risk it all because somehow we wish to make believe in the idea of chances.
It’s a ‘hit or miss’ situation, and yet we embrace the daunting challenge whole heartedly. I wonder how many of us would be willing to take on such uncertain challenges when it came to equally important matters, for instance career opportunities, and establishing a stable future. Maybe this is exactly why the world says that love blinds you. So much so, that you fail to ascertain the pros and cons, and all the missed signals simply look like ongoing chances for betterment.
Maybe that is what lets people like us to continue to be overwhelmed and swooning over a kind of love, which we have certainly attempted to equate with the perfected and enhanced version depicted in books, and films. Some among us are waiting to start afresh. We have never been told that we were the reason for someone’s lost sleep, weirdly interesting dreams, heightened rush of adrenaline, jitter and overwhelming excitement, or even why someone never missed a class, or skipped the morning assembly.
We were so oblivious of what it meant to be spending time with the special someone, that we would bury our heads in shame if they came specifically to see us. We would be drowning in the sea of awkwardness when a friend would catch someone staring at us, and smiling. People like us would grow up to be so conscious of ourselves in terms of appearance and confidence, that at times we would look into the mirror and pause for a moment to point out the visible flaws that might’ve kept them away. And just then, a friend would come to hold your hand, and look you in the eye, with an assuring smile and a firm grip, to tell you that you’re perfect just the way you are, only so you continue to hold on to the sliver of hope within, that someday someone would be eager to see you right after the morning sun disturbs their peaceful slumber. We do wait for that ‘romantic love’ but at the same time watch it co-exist with the other aspects of life, as the saying of ‘go with the flow’ floods our conscience, and we know we’re out of choices.
There is this other group of people who are now used to falling in love, watching it eventually escalate and surpass all boundaries, and then suddenly find them doomed by the very idea of it. These people have taken care of all possible and necessary requirements to somehow try to stay afloat, as the surges of love continue to grow wild. They started out as insecure lovers, beginning to acknowledge the fact that love was a two-way process, and trust comes with a boost in confidence. They begin as half-hearted individuals who are yet to love themselves, and therefore tend to constantly rely on their partner for support. They do not realize that the only true source of their mental peace is they themselves, and their quality and ability of manifesting the same, through self-care. Yet some others find love when they are already struggling to move past their existing trauma. Then there are those who watch the spark gradually fizzle out, as the beginning had been way too intense. So much so, that now all there’s left is consequent obsession, which ultimately tarnishes the essence of the bond. These people have survived through so much, that the slightest glimmer of hope ends up lightening up their faces, although now they are governed by the constant fear of abandonment, or the worry of the past repeating itself.
While on the one hand, some are naïve lovers waiting to be loved and willing to give in their everything, only so they do not end up losing, and being left alone once again, the others on the other hand are already exhausted beyond possibilities, and fail to whole-heartedly embrace the new kind of love that comes to them. While giving in everything already, turns you into a foolish lover blinded by the idea of unconditional intimacy and fondness, restricting yourself on the other hand makes you yearn for acceptance and acknowledgement, even as you teach yourself to love within boundaries. The only solution to this inevitable conflict therefore, is tremendous amount of patience, and the willingness to help make it work, no matter how longer it takes.
But one shall also not forget that we are part of a fast moving world, where people barely have the time to take a pause and breathe. We certainly are a group of heightened individuals who lack the ability to have unwavering patience in us, and the willingness to wait for change. If love demands patience and readiness, then perhaps the contemporary world is yet not ready for our kind of love.