Trigger warning: Islamophobia, slut-shaming, rape, murder
A gruesome Delhi murder has been making a lot of news. It is regarding an interfaith, live-in couple where it is being speculated that the guy killed his girlfriend because she was allegedly pressuring him to marry her.
Unfortunately, many personal, graphic and disturbing details to do with the case are in the public domain… Even though this is an ongoing investigation. I feel it’s not okay to do that to the victim and her family.
There are so many narratives going on about the case right now which have sparked debates and opened up conversations, so I felt like it is the need of the hour to clarify what this case has become about, but shouldn’t have.
The ‘Love Jihad’ Debate
The most ongoing debate about ‘love jihad’ is associated with the murder case. According to Wikipedia, “Love jihad is an Islamophobia conspiracy theory that purports that Muslim men target Hindu women for conversion to Islam by means such as seduction, feigning love, deception, kidnapping and marriage.”
Netizens and popular media channels say that the murder results from love jihad, and a lot of Islamophobic content is being shared online including some of the people on my social media.
Kapil Mishra, former minister of Delhi legislature, tweeted this.
As we all know, Indian citizens above the age of 18 have the right to choose their partner, no matter which religion, caste, class, gender etc. they belong to. The concept of ‘love jihad’ patronises adult women by telling us whom we can (or can’t) love.
It takes agency away from women by telling us we don’t have a say in who we want to be with. Moreover, there are many happy examples of inter-faith relationships and stray incidents shouldn’t be used to paint an entire community in a negative light.
The discussion should be about male violence against women. It has turned into an identitarian mess. How does identity explain Naina Sahni (killed by her husband), Priyadarshini Mattoo (killed by her stalker), or Surjit Athwal (honor killed by family)?
— Vasundhara Sirnate (@vsirnate) November 15, 2022
Victim Blaming And Character Asasination
The most disturbing part of this murder case is the victim blaming that’s going on. When will we stop blaming the deceased? It sickens me to the core. I saw a Reddit thread, and it made a lot of sense to me, so posting it below:
The last thing that needs to be scrutinised is the victim or survivor’s behaviour. She is the one who has been wronged so why is she under the scanner?
Marriage Versus Live-in Relationships
People are also saying that live-in relationships are problematic, a very absurd narrative spread by the media. According to the National Crime Records Bureau reports, 1.36 lakh cases were registered under Section 498A (crimes against women). The rate of crime against women rose a whopping 15% in one year, from 2020.
Section 498A deals with ‘cruelty by the husband or his relatives’. So, violence in intimate relationships is not unique to live-in relationships. Yes, violence and crime against women in relationships should be a concern, but we should stop with the moral policing and focus on women’s safety.
Private Details Of The Victim
The privacy of the victim is being compromised. Her name and pictures are being used and shared widely. Her private life is up in the public domain, which is sickening to the core. We should have some respect for the deceased and her family, and STOP THIS immediately.
Memes And Online Content
The most horrific part of this gruesome case is that memes are being shared online, all over social media platforms, and insensitive jokes are being cracked. It sent shivers down my spine because what have we come to?
The sickness doesn’t end at the gory crime. It continues like this… pic.twitter.com/hZQ2qaukYS
— Rants&Roasts (@Sydusm) November 14, 2022
Sensationalism In The Media Coverage
Media coverage of this case is wrong and unethical on many levels. The sensationalised headlines, casually leaking intimate details, and debates on an ongoing investigation are just scary.
The media needs to be sensitive to the deceased and her family. It needs to stop spreading narratives stinking of demonising Muslim men and witch-hunting “immoral” women. The reporters are hounding the crime scene and creating havoc just for the sake of “breaking news”. How is this not inhumane?
Not only the victims’ private details but gory details to do with the crime are being widely reported on and shared. How can such a reportage and discussion ever help anyone?
TW: r*pe, murder
— smishdesigns (@smishdesigns) November 15, 2022
I hate to say this but sensationalising gruesome r*pe and murder cases in India only results in a domino effect. Post Nirbhaya, we witnessed many cases where rods were inserted in the several other r*pe victims’ private parts.
The murder case is a very unfortunate and gruesome case that has disturbed me, but what’s more disturbing is how it’s being perceived and used as an agenda to spread hate.
It’s being shown on the TV screens as ‘breaking news. Why are we having open debates about an ongoing investigation on reputed media channels, and not letting the police and judiciary do their job?
Why are we moral policing the victim? Why are we believing and spreading conspiracy theories? Is debating women using dating apps okay when the primary concern needs to be women’s safety? Time to take a pause and think…