I’m not sure what’s holding me back from finding love again, but perhaps it’s you. I’ve come to understand that falling in love simultaneously makes us feel strong and weak. There are numerous more things that weaken us, including the person we are in love with. Additionally, every time we interact with the individual or are in their presence, we feel more energised and self-assured.
If I tell you about my romantic experience, it will sound strange, twisted, and anxious. He was the mistake that had rendered me so frail and tangible. The kid who made me feel as though the universe revolved solely around me made me feel as though I was the most beautiful person I had ever been able to feel.
To be honest, I was genuinely happy with him, but my prior experience had made it harder for me to fall in love with anyone — those unwanted touches from male family members, those hungry stares from my cousin’s brother, those heartbreaking steps my friends had taken in school. generally, those days when I was harassed and bullied.
Then, when I reached the age of 18, I met him, thinking that he would support my crumbling pieces, love me as I deserve, and never resemble any of my earlier experiences.
He immediately made me feel lovely, heartfelt, and good, but after a year, everything suddenly changed. As per usual, I would suggest that while changes are vital for growth, they should not come at the expense of other people’s feelings. He changed like i never thought of, he broke my trust like i never wished. He simply changed, and I was left distraught and sobbing nearby. wanting his backing, but never really finding it.
I realized one thing; We cannot love anyone more than they deserve, because the more we give them the love they do not deserve the more they will hurt you that you don’t deserve.
Even if I make an effort to prioritise and value people, it still seems tough for me to fall in love with them. Although I sometimes feel heartless, this is what I was born with and what I have learned. Love is not made tough by us; rather, it is made difficult by those who are unable to offer and receive love.
Finally, I’d add that finding a good relationship and making your own decisions are entirely up to you. Do not let toxic behaviour amuse you because it will make your peace suffer.
I appreciate you reading this and taking the time to read it further; I look forward to hearing your opinions. Please encourage and let me know by commenting your thoughts if you, even slightly, relate to my content.