We are conditioned in a way that the term family denotes a couple and kids, and that makes it whole; purposeful. Single persons living with their parents, someone with a domestic partner, or a queer couple with their dog are not considered as a family. The term family means feeling at home, feeling the bond, and being safe. And with whoever you feel all the above, they are your family, right? Don’t you think so?
Does not wanting to have babies make me a terrible person? Not the feminine type? Not having the motherliness of a woman? No, I don’t think so. Everything in your life is about your choices, not the way you are conditioned. We, as humans, think that we are evolved and superior to other species on the planet. Well, probably the first thing may be partially true, but not the latter. We generate rules, we moralize opinions, we frame judgments, and as a co-existing community, we tend only to exist and not live. How is it called evolution, Mr Darwin?
Just because all the living creatures on the planet-starting from micro-organisms to the extinct dinosaurs-reproduce, does should a human also consider doing the same, even after the so-called evolution? D’uh!
I mean, I do not want humans to go extinct (at least slightly). Even though humans are the primary reason for the destruction of the planet on a whole lot of other different levels, I personally don’t think every human should die. There are innocent, sweet humans as well. At least the Majority is, I believe. And it’s their lives and choices. If they want a baby and choose to have a baby, well, it’s good to go for them. But just like every other choice we make, we can make a conscious choice in this, not just thinking about having an heir or the “retirement plans”.
But I’m just thinking, why a process of reproduction, a process of upbringing an offspring, sprouting mankind just like that of bacteria is such a big deal right from the stone age till the social media age? You eat, you sleep, you menstruate, you masturbate, and just as natural as these, you make love for your bodily and soulful needs. But do all these processes require a result rather than enjoying the process itself? You know what I mean!
Okay, for some, Yes. It may. I appreciate it. You like steak, you eat it. I like mushrooms, I eat them. We make our own choices, and even if we disagree with others’ choices, we still have to co-exist. And having a baby is still a choice of an individual, with due respect to that of a partner. How will it be anyone else’s business?
I was once told that I would not find a partner for myself unless I dropped off the choice of not having a baby, and I should start living my life as we all are conditioned for a long time in a civilized society. That was both annoying and funny to hear. A man or a woman or any gender, for that matter, doesn’t define whether he/she/they SHOULD have a baby. The brain that operates the person decides, and not just the gender.
And yeah, I, choosing not to have a baby, may or may not find a compatible partner. But It depends, I guess. There ARE several, a whole bunch of people, who think just like I do. If the so-called conventional people think they would end up with a partner of their taste and opinions, so can I. It’s all about life which we can never predict. All that we can do is, embrace life as it takes us.
But my choice doesn’t make me any less of myself because I get to choose what I want for myself, which I am contended of, which I am proud of. Having a baby is just not an individual’s business. It is just not about one child, one couple, or one family. It is a more responsible business where it involves the whole planet or even far beyond!