PhD feels easy for everyone except the ones who are actually doing it. It is a lengthy and tiring affair.
The question of ‘Why am I doing this?” is not new for a Ph.D. scholar.
PhD is not something people choose under peer pressure like engineering. For most, it is a conscious choice with specialized efforts. As I am doing a PhD in Social Sciences, references will be from social science research. I used to wonder why it takes five years on average for PhD degree fulfilment.
After joining, I realized that, unlike masters, one has to take out theories and learnings from books and put them to work in reality. Research is not merely mugging up some definitions but devising your way to approach a research problem scientifically. And it takes time.
The biggest challenge of being a PhD scholar is keeping track of your work. It is tough to maintain a continuous flow of growth. We don’t believe that it is our fault but the way our education system is maintained. Starting from school to a major degree, we are used to studying up for short spans and having visible results for the same. While most of the activities we do have devised ways to shorten the time limit and quicken their results. It is everywhere, from ticket booking to money transfers. But PhD stays the same; it’s another part that our counterparts at the London School of Economics or Harvard have access to Artificial Intelligence (AI) for their literature reviews. We will get there, but till then, it will be old school.
Technology has made it easy, but the dimensions of time remain the same. It would have been bearable if the absence of visible growth was the only troublesome part of the PhD. We all have peer groups who choose jobs over higher education; most work hard and get paid a fair amount.
No hard feelings towards them because it’s their choice, no hard feelings towards yourself because you made your choice, so what shall I do with the sinking feeling I get every time earning comes into the picture? In the end, no one wants to die hungry despite having Dr. at their initial. It’s not really that bright outside your university.
Existential crises are pretty standard among PhD scholars; Nietzsche’s soul goes around scholars individually.
New research fronts are opening about stress levels experienced by people in academia. However, the repercussions of doing a PhD are not at all new. We all have heard stories of burnout that it has become routine. This desensitization of the ways how academic life of a PhD scholar is perceived is a risky business. I came across so many who are not really cheerful about their work. It’s not that they are not working hard enough. There could be two reasons for this, first is the narratives social science scholars deal with; in short, it doesn’t take much for social science researchers to turn into activists. And second, despite working hard not being able to spot the growth in the subject matter. This piece is more about the second part, invisible growth.
The word growth has pretty mathematical connotations. We all have been exposed to graphs and know how growth looks on charts. An upward trend. We must redefine the growth on the graph. A dot means way more than the mere break of stagnancy regarding long spans. Those who do trading can relate to it; it is the difference between a 1-minute candle to 6 months candle. We need to develop different ways to administer growth. As we know, it takes patience for themes and theories to make sense to us. Publishing papers in reputed journals takes months and sometimes years. So how do we sustain our productivity throughout these long spans?
Finding an alternative that gives you a sense of growth is the answer. Most of the time, we feel that working for additional hours is going to solve the problem, but it doesn’t. This utopia of over-working might work in other streams but not in PhD. There are activities in which one can engage themselves. One of them is exercise. It gives you visible results for at least three to four months. I have been part in sports since childhood, and even now, I make sure that I’m doing at least one activity every day. Engaging in art is another way of dealing with it. One thing to remember while putting effort into a new action is that it should not be fancy. It should be sustainable irrespective of your place, time, and monetary resources. If one is planning to paint, that doesn’t mean they should stock the painting material worth a year at a go. First, make it sustainable and then advance. And that advancement of a particular skill will give you a sense of growth.
Social media is filled with motivational crap, which goes beyond our social and cultural capital. I can manage a stroll around the university if I’m feeling nervous rather than take a trip to Manali to feel better. And these numerous books we find on personal growth. I have read a few and learned that we already know what these people are talking about. We just need something fancy framework which we can stick to. But then it’s not sustainable. As necessity breeds innovation, vulnerability breeds the market. You decide to exercise, come the shoes, clothing, gym memberships, diet, and whatnot? The goal is to find activities that will positively reinforce your routine and keep you on track for your academic work. Something which you will look forward to and voluntarily. Not some crap that some random YouTuber or social media influencer asks you to do.
And finally, believe in your ideas and choices. It takes a toll on the mental health of researchers when exposed to vulnerable groups and their narratives. First-learner generations go through tremendous stress while managing their traumas and research work. India is not a data-friendly country. You can put as many statistics for people to read, but their decisions will be based on their beliefs for most of their life. It also applies to research scholars. That’s why fiction is essential in life. Nothing works better than reading; it’s cheap, you got libraries, and it emancipates you.