My new blog is inspired by one of the webseries I am watching currently. I will reveal its name in the next blog for the moment, let it be a mystery. Being an Indian, I am proud of a lot of things but at the same time I feel disgusted about some things.
My father taught me that education plays a very important role in the life of an individual; it crafts your thoughts, endows insights about a subject and creates awareness. Today, I could relate to every word he taught me. People (here I am not only referring to the middle or lower class but also the high class) are so insensitive that if a woman is not able to conceive they will always blame the woman and not the man. Sometimes parents are even aware about it but they refuse to accept and continue blaming the woman. To add further, if she conceives and gives birth to a daughter, the blame is given to her (for information – A man determines the gender of a baby depending on the chromosome he has in him, he is solely responsible not the woman, this is science and reality).
I would like to ask, why a son’s infertility is hidden by parents whereas a daughter in law’s infertility or incapability is announced publicly? I am sure a lot of you have heard this word “baanjh” which a childless woman is usually referred to. Becoming a mother is a dream of every woman’s I guess, experiencing the beautiful journey of nurturing a life within you, and if a girl is unable to do so, it is already an excruciating agony for her and the society adds to it by their taunts and harassment.
I am sure you all have witnessed such incidents wherein a woman was blamed and the man was not even asked for a medical test. A dialogue from the web series actually pushed me to write on this subject. It said, “Am I valued only if I have a child”? Seriously, I have experience in some families the only thing they want from a daughter in law is a male heir and they go to any extent to get it. I heard somewhere “pehle pati patni to ban jaaye fir maa baap banenge” and it’s so true. It’s very important for a couple to first live the relationship of a husband wife and sometimes in this spree of having grandchildren; the relationship of husband wife is ruined.
I work with a diplomatic mission and I was told by one of the Diplomat (an official representing a country abroad) that India is gaining power in all aspects but needs attention like religion and caste discrimination, gender equality to name a few. I would once again like to reiterate that I am not a feminist and my intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings or offend them, it’s just when I come across such topics I feel it’s better to bring them out as it might bring a transformation someday.