How many filters did you apply to your picture the last time you posted something on Instagram? Trying to hide a pimple here, a fat bump there. Adjusting the smoothness of the picture to hide the body hair visible on the thighs in that bikini picture of yours.
We are all guilty of having done it at least once. But I won’t blame you for it, because that’s what society has knowingly or unknowingly tried to push down our throats. If you google words like “sexy”, “beautiful”, and “hot” and see the images, you’ll find that all of them look very similar. The common elements that you’ll find in the majority of these images:
1. Female
2. White(mostly)
3. Big breasts
4. Absolutely no body hair
5. Same body type (Lean)
6. Flawless skin and hair
These parameters have become the basis the society judges the bodies of women on, and we do too, so much so that we have made a frame of how women should look and anyone who doesn’t fit in, is not considered beautiful. And even if one musters the courage to break the rules and try and accept themselves as they are, they’re in most cases neglected, tagged with demeaning names, ultimately pushing them towards the dark corners of extreme self-doubt and insecurity. And that is a very dark place to be in. This does not just hamper your choice of clothes but also the way you talk to yourself about yourself which further affects how you allow other people to talk to you.
My stand is not for or against any of the listed elements of beauty. They’re all beautiful. I just feel unsatisfied and disappointed with the fact that although we’ve grown so much over the years, we continue to set boundaries on how much space a woman is supposed to occupy.
I am not entirely against the aforesaid elements of beauty but how inclusive do you think they’re of all the diversities that exist around us? Having such a vast diversity of humans, how have we afford to just stick with a few characteristics to make a non-dynamic template? So, here’s a list of elements (non-exhaustive) that I would want to add to the existing definition:
1) Body hair
2) All colors (brown, whitish, dark)
3) Stretch marks
4) all sizes (not just Kareena Kapoor’s zero)
A plethora of articles have been written and various campaigns designed on the subject which are much more comprehensive than mine and cover a lot more aspects than I have with much more art and creativity. Here are the links to a few campaigns started by different brands:
1) https://brandequity.economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/advertising/stopthebeautytest-dove-challenges-definition-of-beauty-with-real-stories-in-latest-campaign/81204979
2) https://verilymag.com/2016/07/positive-advertising-womens-body-image-beauty-standards-dove-nike
In addition to that hundreds of people on Instagram too, are trying to break the stereotypical views all over the globe revolving around unrealistic beauty standards. You can check some of them out, here:
1) https://www.instagram.com/natashanoel001/?hl=en
2)https://www.instagram.com/behindthescars_/?hl=en
3)https://www.instagram.com/itsmekellieb/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=d01747f2-d979-4261-8213-237d100d035d
(PS- These are some badass women doing a great job and you should follow them if you haven’t already!)
But despite all this, the effects have not been proportional. So, here’s my first small step in trying to bring a change in our existing understanding of beauty, hoping to provide you with a different lens through to look at women, because “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” and our visions have somewhat been blurred with the kind of information that both Media and society had fed us.
For all the people who have judged fellow female classmates/colleagues with facial hair and broad shoulders as being “too manly” and “not attractive for a woman”
For a friend who missed gym because she couldn’t get her legs waxed.
For all the elderly people who judged people (of all genders) while selecting a spouse for their children as being too dark and too fat.
For all the ministers who came out in the press saying “Women should dress in such a way that they invoke respect in others. However, unfortunately, women are dressing provocatively, which is leading to deviation in society,”
For all the shameless glares given to me when I raised my arms to click a selfie with a group of friends due to unwaxed arms.
For a friend in class who felt reluctant in wearing deep-necked tops because her ‘breasts were too big.
All the friends who starved themselves, refused to wear bodycon dresses or dresses showing their arms or any other part of their bodies because they were told that it suited only a few body types and looked vulgar on the rest.
Last but not the least, this is for self: It is easier to talk about how things should be and the changes that should be brought about to make this place a better one to live in. It is easier to preach and ask people to get rid of their judgmental notions and accept others for who they are. It is easier to expect someone else to start a change hoping that we’d follow. But like Robert Frost said “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference”
So, through this article, I am trying to take the small step of hoping to bring about a change in how we perceive beauty. I hope it makes a difference in whatever little domain it can, for a change is still a change no matter how big or small.
First steps are always hard to take, but who said it can stop one from moving? Here’s mine.