One of my dearest friends was going through a difficult time – both personally and professionally. And I would often tell her passingly that I will pray for her. Each time she would enthusiastically say “yes, please”. She later quit her job and got rid of a cheating partner. Although, this is not the stereotypical happy ending, she somehow thought that my prayers helped her achieve this state of peace and clarity.
So, one day she asked me to teach her to pray. And I started thinking where to begin. What better way than dedicating an article explaining the meaning of prayer in my life? I hope I am able to do justice to her question through this post.
Very simply, prayer is a way of life. Sounds cliché? But I have no better way to put it.
I was born into a Christian family, and I followed all traditions that were taught to me from the very beginning. But I rediscovered my faith only at the age of 22 – with a book. You would think it’s the bible. But it was ‘The Story of Philosophy’ by Will Durant. It gives a brief history into some of the main schools of thought in western philosophy. It was through this book that I realized that the only philosophy that answers all the questions of life is probably Christ’s philosophy. A philosophy of love. Love for neighbor. Since then, I have started feeling a renewed sense of awareness of God, myself, and that of the people around me.
From the moment I wake up in the morning till the minute I go to sleep, I am thinking of ways to do things not in my way, but in God’s way. I don’t believe that God’s love is in any way reciprocal, but what I believe is that I must reciprocate to his unending love and forgiveness.
And you don’t have to be a Christian to understand this. Let’s say you used a cuss word yesterday; did you not wake up in your same bed with the same privileges today? You were not punished for your wrongdoing, right? Then why can’t you forgive someone who used a cuss word against you? What puts you in authority to judge or condemn them when God/universe/nature did not?
Similarly, let’s take the instance of work. I have been working from home for the past two and a half years. And I don’t wait to have a micromanaging manager to feel accountable for my work. I just do all of my work i.e., both professional work and household chores with the same vigor and honesty as if I was doing it for God, who is all-knowing. Again, I don’t think my God will punish me if I don’t do it but that I would have missed a chance to reciprocate to God’s endless love.
Another aspect of my faith lies in dealing with difficult people with love and respect. I have had to work on this a lot, since I am naturally very sensitive. But I read it somewhere in Durant’s book that hate is born when you assume that someone else hates you. This creates a chain of hate. And I realized that we don’t have to keep verifying that assumption. We can break that chain by showing acts of love and care. And since then, I have encountered people who seem difficult at first but the more I get to know them, I have realized that their unique circumstances have been the cause of their behavior. And soon I was able to zoom into the good in people and dismiss the bad as purely circumstantial. I would often think to myself that the more negative traits a person has, the more helpless they are, and the more love they need.
The futility of life is at the core of all western philosophy. And that insight made me more aware of how we don’t own anything on this earth. We come empty handed, and we go empty handed. This death-bed mentality helped me embrace minimalism and value the material goods that God/universe has put under my control. So, I have hardly 15 pairs of clothes – all seemingly interchangeable and just one piece of every daily-use item. Like one pair of slippers, one perfume, one lip balm, one bag, one pair of spectacles etc. And I use it till it lasts and only then do I purchase a new one. And the Christian twist to this lifestyle is to give more than to take, and not expect anything in return.
In all this, I have to admit that I am definitely not a 100% successful at practicing every element of Christianity. I falter just like any other counterpart of any other faith. And I surely encounter people who take undue advantage of my temperament or even misunderstand my kindness as an indirect request for reciprocal favors. So, I have had to cancel out certain people from my life who have gaslighted me and in turn compromised my mental health.
And whenever I falter, I realize how little I know. And I dedicate time for learning scripture, not only the Bible but other religious texts and philosophies as part of enhancing my understanding of the faith and shaping my own spirituality. With all the learning so far, I cannot tell you if there is a heaven or a hell, but what I can tell you is that you can create your own heaven and hell in this world. The guilt-free, peaceful, and tolerant temperament that I aim to embody is nothing short of a heavenly experience.