Note: spoilers ahead
Darlings and Thappad are movies that are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. But both feature women who take a stand for themselves in the face of violence from their spouses. But is it wise to take lessons of empowerment from Tinseltown?
The Issues At Hand
It has been theorised that the consumption of specific media leads to the cultivation of ideas in the minds of the audience, as in the “cultivation” of specific types of thinking and behaviour. When children see specific acts (such as spousal abuse) being committed but rewarded or tolerated on the screen instead of being boycotted or punished, they might be tempted to repeat that behaviour.
Divorce And Domestic Violence Act
Darlings is a tale of revenge where a married woman keeps accepting assault, loses a baby in the womb after an assault by her husband, and beats up her husband. This obviously will sound scary in real life. But it’s all good fun on the screen where it’s portrayed in dark humour. The option of divorce is casually dismissed by the lead’s mother(“The world has changed only for those on Twitter”), while that of jailing the husband under domestic violence is declined by the lead (“He will change”). This leaves only revenge as the choice in the movie. Luckily, the movie stops short of condoning cold-blooded murder combined with kidnapping.
Thappad has a serious tone. The woman in Thappad is also a housewife, but she is ready to call it quits after her husband slaps her in front of everyone at a party. The main lead in this film is not looking for revenge (“I won’t slap you”) but only wants to respectfully walk from a marriage where she does not feel respected. She does not get the support she should from her mother and her brother but from her father and her brother’s girlfriend. Meanwhile, another female character (a maid) confronts her abusive husband by giving him a severe tongue lashing and verbal warning, and another (a lawyer) dumps the husband she doesn’t want. At the same time, yet another (the lead’s brother’s girlfriend) decides to give him a chance after he proactively decides to change himself. Strangely, even Thappad does not show any husband being arrested on the charge of domestic violence. The Rajasthan Police tweet that banked on the film’s release to warn against violence would have been much more effective if the movie actually showed a person being put behind bars due to a slap.
Degradation Of Consent In A Marriage
Both movies have unwatchable scenes where consent (about the act of intimacy) is violated by a character who simply takes the question of consent lightly. In Thappad, the lawyer Netra states that she is tired, but her drunk husband nags her to do the deed with him (after initially being dismissive of her court victory). In Darlings, the abused housewife sabotages the contraceptive. Both scenes show the degradation of autonomy. While in India, this behaviour might not be prosecuted, we happily note that this has been recognised as a crime abroad.
Marriage = Making Babies
In Thappad, the maid’s husband and mother-in-law are obsessed with the idea of her having a kid. In Darlings, the abused housewife desperately wants to have kids with her abuser. Both these mindsets are exposed as problematic in these movies.
Casual Sexism, Stereotyping And Belittling
There is some casual sexism shown by various characters in these two movies. In Thappad, even the mother-in-law tries to convince the lead character that the woman has to be tolerant(“Their happiness is our happiness”) of men’s violence, which is insulting not only to men(as if they are born to assault) but also to women (as if they are born to be tolerant to assault). In Thappad, this attitude is thankfully rejected by the lead character (“He can’t slap me”) and a neighbour (“I was married to a wonderful man. I like to believe men are wonderful people. So I’ll pretend I didn’t hear what you said”). In Darlings, the lead character spews hatred in a silly scene(“All men should be made to stand in a row and shot”) and uses belittling language (“fatso”, “bespectacled guy”, “hairy guy”), but this is quickly dismissed as being the rant of an angry abused wife and the scenes of the supportive neighbour, mother and cop show that even men can be part of fighting against the spousal battery.
Conclusion
Looking to the cinema for pointers on how people should model their behaviour might be too much to ask for, whether while critiquing a movie or just watching it to pass the time. After all, people outside media do not present model behaviour, whether offline (as in the case of people stating that a man might hit his wife or that a single slap cannot be the basis of a divorce)
Additionally, books (such as the fictional Mills and Boons and the supposedly non-fictional Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) also showcase stereotypes based on gender.
When critiquing cinema, it might be noted that the influence of media can be mediated. As per social learning theory, children might find that the behaviour seen, rewarded or ignored on the screen might lead to dire consequences when exhibited off the screen. As such, it should be noted that the larger role of influencing behaviour will remain in the hands of cine-goers rather than filmmakers, and any critic must take that into account before going overboard while talking about a new or old film.