The moment I felt like writing something that I faced while growing up, I began to think about the past, and this feeling of narrating my personal story to you kept revolving around my head for many days. So now, this is the time when I want to express my own life experiences that I had with my family and relatives.
Since childhood, I was not very intelligent and smart enough to study well and do things on my own. Therefore, I was a dyslexic student, which I admit and say proudly to the world. There is nothing wrong with it for me, and I assume you could have been going through it during your school days.
But, what hurts me is when someone closest to your family treats you like an alien or completely different from others. Within my big joint family, many of my aunts and uncles from my father and mother’s sides have never shown me kindness, care, support, and love.
The feeling of regret and hate was so huge that I bore the truth to myself and never had a one-to-one discussion and counselling with my Mom and Dad about this matter. When I was just a baby, my uncle and aunt lifted my cousin Ibrahim over me, who was just one month older than me, into their arms and loved him so much because he was the son of wealthy ‘Chacha’ Khaleel Khan.
One more reason they favoured my cousin was that my father used to live a decent life then; he was not earning much and probably not doing well in his profession – Carpentering. Due to this unfortunate situation, my mother used to work day and night, feeding me and my younger brother Shahbaaz, educating us, and providing us with every resource of livelihood. So whatever we achieved today is all because of her relentless efforts and devotion to us.
On the mother’s side, my Nani, Khala, and Mammu abused me by calling the words like “Hendra” and “Ghetla” when I never listened to their sayings and did some foolish activities. Back then, I did not take such degrading words seriously, but as I grew up, I never liked to be listening to those words again, and even now. You cannot find these two words in your dictionary or on Google. I guess.
There were so many family occasions when my family and I never got such a level of respect and importance as my cousins, who were born with a silver spoon. Instead, I was critically judged by my close family relatives for my timid body, being stupid, unqualified, and less privileged than them. Right from schooling till graduation, after every attempted exam.
I was questioned about why I scored low marks and asked to look at your cousin and classmate Ibrahim, who achieved higher marks. Then, as If I had committed some significant sin, standing in the Witness Stand, I was forced to give explanations with a loud voice to be heard clearly by my relatives.
No matter what I do in my life, I don’t want my future child to suffer. I was humiliated, tortured, and took the fights of haters. But these things will never and ever happen to my children. Instead, I will raise my child in a nurturing environment where they will discover the future for themselves. I don’t want my child to follow my footpath. I want them to study well enough to decide on their own what they want to become.
My last piece of advice to you, all elders, please, for God’s sake, keep the healthy atmosphere within your homes. Always treat your children equally. Never underestimate your children’s strength. Give your kid wings to fly higher rather than tying them with chains of higher expectations and hopes in their arms and legs from a very young age.
If this tradition continues, you never know a boy like me could be born in your home, going through such hardships and never complaining to his parents out of fear and depression. And I never want your child to suffer and face huge discrimination within your family.