This piece is all about me and I hope this resonates with a few others as well. Being brought up in a middle-class family, I don’t have much exposure to what opportunities I have and what is the thing I would like to do. I just went with the flow and joined B.Tech (bachelor of technology).
But, I will say this: it’s really awesome to study in a college and get to know a lot of friends! I had never really experienced anything like that before. I have learned a lot of things, be it about technology, friendships, hostel fun, homesickness or heartbreaks… I feel really happy and blessed to have all these memories with me.
So, I graduated with distinction and was placed in one of the top MNCs (multi-national companies). I did really productive work for the team I was a part of and my salary got hiked multiple times, but I never found satisfaction… Not even for a single day since I joined the IT (information technology) job.
My team was very happy to have me as a member and appreciated me a lot, but why was I not happy with what I had? This was killing my mind. Yes, I need money and I am getting paid. But, is that enough?
Seeing my friends shifting companies and getting paid really well, makes me want to do the same, but somehow, my body is rejecting my decision completely. For instance, when I started preparing for a new position or interview, I become sad and lack motivation.
So, I told myself If I don’t have anything on my plate, I will start working on what needs to be done… I resigned! I know it feels like a foolish decision, but I just went with what my heart told me to do. However, my mind is sending warning signals already.
Now, I have started preparing for and attending interviews, but I feel really sad and lost. I don’t know whether I should feel happy about where I have reached till now and proceed with the job search, or wait for some time despite all the family expectations and hold on to my destiny?
Because I am nowhere near where I’d like to be. I am experiencing a lot of depression, anxiety and worry. I hope everything goes well. Also, I wish a lot of strength to anyone who is in the same state as me.