While writing this article, I feel I am talking about women as a community; married, unmarried, single, teenager or adult. We are all scared of this one thing- visiting a gynaecologist and talking about our health. Here’s a personal experience that can elaborate on the awkwardness and fear.
I was suffering from excessive bleeding a few years ago, primarily because of stress and lifestyle changes, and my mother took me to a renowned gynaecologist in the town. He was an old and experienced doctor, diagnosing thousands of women every day. We entered his clinic after waiting for two hours.
Apart from the ayurvedic tonic that he prescribed, there was also a verbal prescription. “She is 25 and still not married? I think you need to get her married immediately to solve these problems. Next time come here only when you are married. You need to produce kids.”
I was not just taken aback but was also thinking if I had imagined this situation in my head. Later, I was diagnosed with PCOD, the cause of which is nowhere related to marriage or sexual intercourse whatsoever.
It is essential to understand that the female body is highly dependent upon the uterus, its functioning, the hormones, and the menstruation cycle that affects the overall health of women. Quite often, there are unpredictable events such as stress, changing lifestyle, bad food habits, and irregular sleeping patterns, to name a few, that might affect the hormonal system and the menstrual cycle of any woman.
Therefore, it is necessary and advisable to consult a gynaecologist in case of any such illness and get prescribed medicines. However, any woman, especially young adults, is scared of a doctor’s visit.
In small towns, visiting a gynaecologist is hushed down, especially for unmarried girls. Women in remote areas try to choose doctors who are nowhere related to their town or, at times, sign up for online consultations to avoid embarrassment, which at times are fraudulent.
Mothers sneak their daughters out of the house, as any news of PCOD, cysts or irregular periods is believed to show that they have infertility issues. Any open discussion around menstruation is faced with backlash. It is not just sanitary pads that are covered in black plastic bags. Anything related to the uterus is deemed to be a private matter to not be talked about in the household.
Even in urban areas, lack of access to sexual and reproductive healthcare shrouds conversations around contraception, and sexual intercourse. The obsession with virginity and purity of a woman, coupled with the lack of information about sexual healthcare furthermore adds to the taboo around pre-marital sex. For instance, the fear of visiting the doctor to discuss sexual health.
Even college going students and young adults in India fall prey to harmful medicines to avoid awkward enquiries by the doctor. A doctor who is supposed to provide reliable and judgement-free information to their patient often breaches the patient’s privacy. For college students this can occur in the form of falling the hostel warden, contacting the parent or spreading it as gossip.
A doctor needs to know the intimate details for diagnosis. But the breach of privacy and the shaming that the questions in a session entail are uncalled for. Single women are often judged for their sexual encounters and face moral policing. This develops a wall between the doctor and the patient.
I am not targeting any occupational community here. The doctor I met and many others reflect society’s mindset. Women’s health is subject to many layers, a few of them being purity, honour, fertility, and marriage prospects. Shaming and taboos on sexual intercourse are widespread in our country and what needs to be addressed here is the comfort level between a doctor and patient.
An illness should be treated as one, irrespective of the background of the patient and free of moral policing. Society needs to transcend the boundaries of virginity, purity and honour associated with women’s health so that every girl can visit a clinic, discuss sexual encounters freely and be educated by the doctors in the right manner.
The fear would only lead to the spread of unprescribed and undiagnosed treatments and worsen the state of women’s health in India. We must normalise access to credible information and awareness about menstruation, sex, PCOD, and hormonal imbalances. It’s also critical that these conversations find space in living rooms and dinner tables to normalise them as legitimate health concerns.
Young people must have the agency and capacity to advocate for access to credible information and sexual and reproductive health services. Join us with #BaateinUnlocked to talk about everything “taboo” and break barriers around cultural and social norms across India. Share your story here.