*Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape*
After the split verdict on the marital rape issue, it is indeed sad to see that our Indian Justice system still has not delivered justice to the millions of women (including men) who have suffered this injustice in the name of marriage for several decades.
When many other countries, like the U.S.A. and U.K., can criminalise marital rape, why can’t the Indian justice system?
Judgment On Marital Rape And Arranged Marriages
We need to look at this issue from a wider lens. India is a country where most marriages are arranged. As we are all aware of how arranged marriages work, the bride (and the groom) often do not have the choice of their preference.
Even though things are changing, in most cases, the parents or family make the decisions regarding their kid’s marriage. So, there is often an element of forced acceptance of the partner in the arranged marriage, either due to family pressure or even fear of crossing the marriageable age (especially for women).
So, in such a situation, when the bride and groom might not even love each other but still have to continue their marriage because of being married, then it is possible that their sexual relations also might not be mutually consented to.
Often the bride might not be ready to have sex with a stranger (who is her husband now) but still have to just because she is his wife, and they are married, and that’s all that is required to prove that it is okay to have sex. Is this an acceptable form of a sexual relationship? The obvious answer is no.
And such situations often lead to domestic violence and, thus, forced, unconsented sexual relations between husband and wife, which is nothing but marital rape, emphasising the word “rape”.
If sex is unconsented and involves violence, how can that not be a criminal act? It should and must be.
There can be several occasions when both husband and wife might be in a situation where they would expect sex to be the last thing to do together. It could be those days when women have to go through their PMS. During such times, demanding sex and, even worse, forcing sex is brutal and deeply disturbing.
Even for men, it is possible that they might not be able to have sex or even satisfy due to excessive sex. And in that situation, if the woman continues to demand more sex from him might lead to penile pain and other complications. Isn’t this a form of unconsented sexual violence? Yes, it is a form of marital rape too.
Also, we see that the effect of porn videos and even erotic movies like Fifty Shades of Grey has been huge in the last few years. Several married couples would like to perform the same acts performed by the pornstars.
It is possible that one of the partners might not be willing to do it, but then under the pretence of marital sex, they might have to undergo that sexual act, which might not be giving any form of pleasure at all. Can this still be called marital sex?
Even worse, some of them might be forcing them to practice BDSM or even be motivated by sadomasochism. Some even record their sex with their partners using hidden cameras and put it on websites without their partner’s consent. How can this be justified under the name of marriage? Certainly not.
Thus, any form of unconsented sex between husband and wife cannot be justified under the sweet, innocent thread of marital bond. In fact, the thread of marital bond strengthens when the sex is mutually consented to and involves respect, love and care for each other.
That delicate thread is broken as soon as it is replaced by forceful, violent, machismo (can apply to either) marital rape, which should be a criminal offence.