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Top 5 Reasons Why You Should ‘Not’ Be A Feminist

Actress Anushka Sharma wearing a tee shirt that reads: we should all be feminists.

Nothing unites the world more than the mutual hatred for feminists. Let’s dig in to the top five reasons everyone hates feminists and why you should never ever make the cardinal sin of being one. Let us explore the failures of feminism together.

1. Feminists are ugly inside-out

Have you seen feminists up close, especially at night, without makeup?

Rumour has it, they turn into these levitating witches who dance stark naked, trampling over dead male bodies around a bonfire under the full-moon sky. When done dancing, they drink the blood of poor, innocent men; rip open their hearts and eat them out.

Rumour has it: feminists are witches who drink the blood of men. Representational image. Photo credit: Oxana Melis, Unsplash.

This explains why all feminists are ugly AF and consumed with rage 24*7.

2. Feminists are a bunch of frustrated women with sad lives

Feminists have miserable, domestic lives, and are out to ruin yours too.

Can you believe these feminists who have their husbands serving them breakfast in bed and helping them change their baby’s diapers? Which self-respecting woman would turn their husbands into effeminate, domestic maids?

Feminist women make their in-laws prepare and serve their own meals. Which righteous, dutiful woman would allow other family members to take ownership of their domestic duties?

Can you believe that feminists expect their husbands to help them with domestic chores? Representational image. Photo credit: BBC.

And, which woman in their right frame of mind would not want to be a f****** domestic goddess with multiple limbs holding the prized jhaadu, pocha, bartan (broom, mop and used utensils) and all that jazz? I mean, really, c’mon!

Feminist women with good, loving husbands and families, leave them after a single thappad (slap) and preach divorce. Talking of divorce leads us to the next important reason.

3. Feminist women are gold-diggers

This is paradoxical because it’s a strong reason why you should be a feminist. Who doesn’t need money?

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! But, not for feminists, as their skewed morality doesn’t permit them to have anything to do with blood diamonds. So, feminists go digging for gold instead.

Since men have control of nearly all the property in the world, it pays for feminists to become honey trappers, get married, divorced, and receive fat alimonies… Or find a sugar daddy.

Feminists are gold-diggers who only want to entrap rich men. Representational image. Photo credit: Quora.

Psst! Never mind the reality that it’s the men who get richer in marriage and divorce. Women are always the ones to bear the financial brunt of marriage and divorce.

4. Feminists want to smoke, drink, wear short clothes and have sex, freely

If you’re wondering what feminism is, here’s the 101:

“Feminism is nothing but shameless propaganda for women to smoke cigarettes and weed, drink alcohol, wear short clothes, and have sex with whomever and whenever they want.”

It’s a man’s world, and we need to respect that these privileges are reserved only for our poor, hard-working men, not for the hardly working, unpaid, other 50% of the world.

How dare the feminists claim equal rights over men’s pleasures and vices? How dare feminists think and behave like men? Of course, the world will judge them for it!

Feminists are women who want to have sex with whomever they want and whenever they want. Representational image. Photo credit: Monika Kozub, Unsplash.

Women have been taken out of men’s ribs, and they ought to know their due place in the world. In the kitchen and the sacred room—fasting, interceding and praying for the well-being of their husband and children.

5. Feminists are pseudo, good-for-nothing activists

When did the feminist movement start? What has feminism achieved to date? What good have feminists done for the world?

Feminists have no other work but to disrupt the natural order of the world. It’s unnatural for women to have ambitions for themselves at the cost of their families.

Had it not been for the feminist movement, women would have been happily making fresh, hot meals in the kitchen every day; massaging the backs and feet of their tired husbands when they come back from work; birthing more children, and caring for the elders in the family.

What have feminist protests done except to try and liberate women from the shackles of patriarchy? Representational image. Photo credit: Indian Express.

Why do women need to vote, go to the school as well as workplace, and become financially independent, when the men are perfectly capable of running the world?

Why do feminists have their panties in a twist over the gender pay gap, when they really should be bothered about the thigh gap?

Why can’t these feminist types chill, dress up and enjoy the attention from the men they get when they step outside their homes—the melodious catcalls in the street and getting paid for being seen as motivational eye-candy at the workplace?

What more empowerment and feminism do these modern women need?

Feminists should stop all this non-existing nonsense such as sexual consent, marital rape and domestic abuse, once and for all.

Why are feminists wasting everyone’s, especially women’s time?

If you are a feminist reading this, this is for you:

Put on your aprons and get back to your fundamental duties in the kitchen right now!

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This article was originally published here.

Featured image is for representational purposes only. Photo credit: Dawn.
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