“Bhaiya, station chalo,” I asked the auto driver to take me to the railway station.
It was 9:25 p.m. “I better not get late. I hope I find the right platform,” I thought to myself, as Dadar station is so confusing. I seem to have a perennial problem with directions and easily end up losing my way.
I find it challenging to reach the right place in one go. Thankfully, I slept during the day so that I could stay awake during my journey!
***
“If-you-choose-to-move-out-of-this-marriage-then-I’m-telling-you-that-you-have-no-place-in-this-house.” His words kept ringing in my ears. A sudden deafening silence stopped everything for me.
I’d been trying to focus on whatever I was doing, to the best of my efforts, but whatever little empty space came through in my life, his words continued to haunt me and provoked me to take action.
How could a father say that to his own daughter? To make it worse, he did so in the presence of her so-called “in-laws”! Oh, how could he?
***
“Madam, bees rupaye (madam, the fare is ₹20).”
The auto driver’s words brought me to my senses. I quickly paid him, took my luggage and headed to the platform indicator. Borivali railway station still overflowed with people, even at that hour. I bought a ticket to Dadar and boarded the 9:50 p.m. slow train to Churchgate.
“Dadar rukegi yeh (will this train halt at Dadar station)?” a middle-aged lady asked as she got into the train along with a small girl.
Misery Does Love Company
Something about the expression on her face told me that she wasn’t fully a part of the journey then. Was I seeing trouble on everyone’s faces only because I was… “Oh, will you just stop it?” I told myself.
“Haan, slow hai (yes, this is a slow train),” I said to her.
“Mamma, I’m hungry. Can you give me some grapes that we’re carrying?”
“Hmm, don’t you drop any of these and eat what you can now. I’m not going to open the bag a 100 times.”
The careless way in which the girl’s mom had dressed gave away the fact that she had travelled in a hurry, not bothering to check that she was wearing an old, faded dress, which had once seen brighter days. Her hair was ruffled due to the wind and she had a beautiful, dimpled chin.
Her daughter’s bright brown eyes looked forlorn and fearful, after listening to her mother’s instructions. “I wanna sit at the window and watch the buildings running backwards, right now. Mamma, are you listeni…”
“Oh, shut up, will you? Listen, girl, I don’t feel like doing anything as of now. I’m in no mood for your tantrums. Please don’t trouble me.”
The little girl looked at me and looked away. Her eyes welled with tears. I’d seen them, but she tried her best to hide them. I called her to sit at the window by my side. The girl came over quickly and sat on my lap.
Contemplating whether to strike a dialogue with her or not, I asked her: “What’s your name?”
“Riya Nair.”
I offered her a biscuit. She happily took it and nibbled at it. She looked like a girl of about five years. Her hair was neatly done and her frock, a bright red and white one with a floral print, looked pretty. She had a matching red pin in her hair.
I liked her at once, especially her bright brown eyes. They seemed to be talking to me, as if they were trying to narrate her story. We sat in silence as the stations sped by us. Soon, my station was nearing.
“Riya, I have to get off at the next station. Bye!”
“Bye, bye, aunty!”
***
I headed towards the platform where the Konkan Kanya train was due to arrive. The train was going to halt only for two minutes, and it was past 11 p.m. already. I was panting by the time I reached the right platform. I still had about two minutes to find my compartment. The train was already there.
“A2, 19 LB kahan hai (where is compartment A2, 19 LB)?” I asked someone.
“Bogie number…?”
Oh, god! I missed what the TC (ticket collector) had said. I just got into the train from wherever I was and checked for the seat numbers. I had to pass a whole compartment to find my seat. Uff! Finally, there it was! I dropped myself, sighing out of great relief, at 19 LB after adjusting my luggage.
Ladies Coupé: A Journey Together
“Ticket, ticket! Show your tickets, please.”
The TC checked my ticket along with the others’ around me.
“Madgaon kitne baje aayega (when will Madgaon arrive)?” I asked him.
“Subah 10 baje (at 10 in the morning),” he responded. Just then I heard:
“Aunty!”
I turned around to find little Riya smiling at me. I smiled back. The TC was directing her towards my compartment.
“Yay! We’ve got our seats next to aunty!” Riya screamed with joy, while her mother looked around at every seat. I was relieved to hear that. At least, there would be someone to keep me company.
“Where’s 20, 21 LB?” Riya’s mother asked me.
“Oh, that’s right next to my seat,” I replied.
“Where are you getting down?” I asked her.
“Riya, are you going to eat or do you want to sleep right away?”
The train moved just then, and little Riya almost dropped herself on my lap.
“Careful, Riya! Sorry about that, she’s a bit too much!” Her mother apologised.
“No, no, it’s perfectly alright! Don’t bother.”
“Hi, I’m Gauri Sawant,” I introduced myself as I extended my hand to greet the lady, who was probably the little girl’s mother.
“Hi, I’m Riya’s mother, Vaishali Krishnan. We’re going home. My husband’s family lives in Thivim.”
“I’m travelling to Madgaon for work. I have been working as a software consultant for the last 10 years,” I replied.
A Chance Encounter With A Dear, Old Friend
Did she say Vaishali? She looked like my best friend from school, Vaishali Sundaram. But, how could she come here? Maybe, I’m trying to connect too many possibilities all together.
“Wait a minute, are you Vaishali Sundaram from St John’s School, Borivali?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking her.
“Yes! But, who are you? Sorry, I just can’t recollect.”
“Hey, Vaishali! What a pleasant surprise! Don’t you recognise me? It’s me, Gauri Oak. We sat together on the last bench from class five to 10. Do you remember now?”
“What?! Oh my god! I was in my own wor… No, sorry! I just couldn’t… Ah! It’s been so long now… I don’t remember when we last saw each other.”
“Yeah, it’s okay! When you said Vaishali, something told me that ‘Vaishali’ was ‘you’ only and no-one else. So, how have you been? How is everyone at home?”
“Yes, all are fine! What about you?”
Little did I know that my excitement would invite further questions that I didn’t really want to answer. How was I to tell her that I had a dying marriage; my parents had given up on me and asked me to choose between my almost broken marriage and living on my own? If only I could have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business!
“Yes, everyone is fine at my place too,” I smiled to add some effect, hoping it sounded real.
“Do you still live near the school?” she asked.
“No, Vaishali! We had to move as our house went up for redevelopment. I do miss seeing our school every day though.”
“Do you remember how we stole moments in the class solving crazy puzzles? At times, we would write lyrics of famous songs or just play cross and zero.”
“Oh, yes! How can I forget those wonderful times?”
Riya had fallen asleep, resting her head on my lap, snugly holding the end of my dress with her cute, little hands.
“Let’s take turns to sleep. I’ve rested enough at home today, so you sleep first. You look tired.” I said to her as I looked at Vaishali’s tired eyes. She had a complete family, while mine was disappearing.
“Yes, thanks for saying that! I am dead tired today.” She sighed with relief and climbed the middle berth. She fell asleep almost immediately.
When was the last she had taken a look at her appearance? She had not changed since school days. I remember her plunging herself with full concentration into solving Math sums and explaining it to me; or learning Marathi, which she really struggled with back then.
Vaishali may have had her own problems, but she did really look happy to have met me today. What about me? Yeah, I had been searching for her for so many years, but now? What would she say if she got to know that very soon, I may choose to be on my own? Would she acknowledge someone like me, with my status changed to a d-i-v-o-r…?
“If-you-choose-to-move-out-of-this-marriage-then-I’m-telling-you-that-you-have-no-place-in-this-house.” Oh, no! Not this again.
“My In-Laws Were Textbook Villains, Would You Believe?”
But, when was I going to think about what I want to do about my failing marriage? “I know, I know, you don’t need to keep reminding me all the time,” I told myself.
Of all the people in my life, my father, my dad, whom I care about the most in the whole world, had to tell me that? How could he disown me? Had he told me this when we were alone, I would have still tolerated it.
But, he… He said all that he did in the presence of my “in-laws”, who after hearing that, would only be more and more cruel to me.
My in-laws resembled movie “villains”, the ones who ill-treat their daughter-in-law and only want all her money. I had never seen such parents in real life, ever. They wanted the woman to be their maid.
They wanted someone who didn’t have a voice of her own, and unquestioningly did whatever was told to her… Right from giving her hard-earned money and cooking day and night for them, to eating whatever was thrown in her plate and giving them an heir (i.e., strictly, a male child). Last but not the least, they wanted someone who performed her role in the bedroom, to keep their son satisfied. Enough! No more of this nonsense. I can’t take it anymore.
Could I afford to live alone? Forget affording it, did I have the courage to live alone? No, I didn’t, and I knew it very well. I thought to myself: “But, you want to be adamant and pig-headed. Just stop it, will you? Not one more word on this…”
“You must get some rest now. I have slept enough.” It was 2 a.m. Vaishali allowed me to rest for a while. We had crossed Panvel and were heading towards Madgaon. “Rest.” If only I could, I wished.
***
“Gauri looked so happy and content with herself. If only I had a job of my own. It would have changed so many decisions in my life. Uff!” Vaishali brushed aside the on-going chaos in her mind.
***
“Capeee, garam garam capeee (coffee, serving hot coffee)!” The vendor’s voice woke me up.
“Have I missed my station? Oh no! Where am I?” I thought to myself.
“We Were Both At The Crossroads Of Where Our Paths Met”
“Hey, Vaishali! Where have we reached?” I asked as I woke up with sleepy eyes and a strained back.
“Don’t worry, it’s 7:40 a.m. now! We have reached Sindhudurg. There is still some time. You freshen up.”
I freshened up and we sipped fresh coffee together. We packed and waited for our respective destinations to arrive. Finally, Thivim was about to arrive.
“This is my cell number. Do call me when you have time. Drop by at Thivim on your way back. Just give me a call.”
“Bye, Riya! Sure, Vaishali, I will.”
“This time, I’m going to my husband’s house for good after four long years. There’s no turning back now, and that’s exactly the problem.” Vaishali spoke in a choked voice and alighted the train.
What did she say, did I hear it c-o-r-r-e-c-t-l-y? Wait a minute… does it mean that she had also taken a drastic step like me?
“If-you-choose-to-move-out-of-this-marriage-then-I’m-telling-you-that-you-have-no-place-in-this-house.” The haunting words kept ringing in my ears all over again.
I smiled and waved at them. Their figures faded away as the train left the station. We stood exactly at the crossroads of where our paths had met.