You’ve most probably heard about “Sarabhai vs Sarabhai” fame’s Rupali Ganguly’s latest show “Anupamaa”. Did you know that it is a remake of a 2019 Bengali show “Sreemoyee”? The show has been remade in Kannada, Marathi, Malayalam, Telugu, Tamil, and from June 6, in Odiya as well.
The central premise of the story has remained the same with some regional and language-specific changes. So, what is it about the premise that has made the show this popular and has led to a seemingly pan-Indian acceptance?
The lead character is a 40-something-year-old woman, who has spent her entire adult life looking after her husband, children, and in-laws. She discovers that her husband, to who she is devoted in spite of his anger and abuse towards her, has been cheating on her.
Almost as if overnight, she wakes up to her life—the reality of it, not the one she was selling to herself all these years. She starts questioning who she is, what she wants, how she wants to relate to people, and how people talk to her. Basically, she sets out on a mission to find herself (or actually, be herself).
The Desires And Divorce Of A 40-Something Woman
The premise, at least partially, holds true in most of our homes—our society expects more from its women and mothers than it does from their counterparts. Through the central premise, the show looks to start a conversation about divorce and women’s independence (financial, social and emotional).
Neither divorce nor independent women are themes being portrayed on screen (big or small) for the first time, then what really sets this show apart?
Indian television shows have produced multitudes of female leads varying from docile to fierce, dependent to independent—then what is it about the divorce and desires of this 40-something lead that the audience finds so revolutionary?
There are topics that the shows (across languages) have touched upon that are not usually discussed on prime time TV, through the constellation of characters there are various social and familial issues (like marital abuse, decision to have or not have children, divorce, mental health and therapy, harassment at the workplace) that the show(s) touch upon.
But, through these emotional and financially turbulent times, the lead remains an ideal woman, mother, and daughter.
The Right To Remarry, Extra-Marital Affairs And Morality
India’s divorce rates are abysmal, and maybe, that is why even the bare minimum defense of divorce as a valid life choice feels revolutionary.
Yet, we’re so far from a balanced, sensitive, and healthy portrayal of the trials and tribulations of someone who walks away from her marriage and tries to rebuild her identity and life.
Given that Anupamaa airs at a prime time slot on a highly-watched channel, it is common for the characters to break into Bollywood-esque song and dance sequences.
In all the iterations, the lead character has a skill or talent that was suppressed all the years that she was in her marriage, that blooms and eventually becomes a means for her to make her mark on the world, with a little help from an old admirer who also conveniently happens to have a lot of money.
These gimmicks and distractions maybe allow for the show to feature difficult conversations that tackle topics like the fragility of the male ego, or the right of a middle-aged divorcee to remarry, or extramarital affairs and morality.
The Husband Begs Anupamaa To Take Him Back
One aspect of the show that stands out to me is the fact that Anupamaa’s first husband, Vanraj, is specifically written as an egotistical patriarch, proud of being the breadwinner, controlling, and jealous—they try to make his character seem to have some redeeming qualities.
He’s hardworking, loves his children and is dutiful to his parents, but other than that, he’s not your usual side piece male lead. He creates the conflict. We’ve all met someone like him: shades of his character are probably in the men in our homes.
His self-centeredness is palpable, and I love that the writing makes that very obvious. You might feel sorry for him, but you’re not going to like him.
The definitive moment when I cheered for the lead (across the three languages that I’ve watched the show in) was when their husbands having realised how dependent they are on their wives, come back to them remorseful, looking to be taken back—the women stand their ground, they stay committed to the realisation that they were ill-treated, and they deserve more and better.
Do Flawed Women Have A Space In The Society?
The central character though is probably the most unrealistic. She is gentle, kind, well-meaning, devout, sincere, good at everything she tries her hand at. Do women deserve a right to their own lives and personalities only when they’re all that?
Can flawed women also make space for themselves in society? Can women who are not as talented, driven, and determined as the lead character and, more importantly, who don’t have access to the same kind of support as her, also dream of leaving abusive households and partners?
Is there space for them to imagine those realities? In order to deserve a better life does the woman have to be the personification of self-sacrifice and nobility?
Why doesn’t a woman who has been played so viciously by life and those around her have the right to hate them a little bit (or want terrible things to happen to them)?
What Do Homemakers And Women Think Of The Show?
The show is obviously a product of our times and possibly of society’s beliefs about women, mothers, daughters, and wives.
There are several characters within the shows that bring in different perspectives and personally, I believe that the Marathi version has some extremely well-written dialogues that might encourage viewers to face societal realities.
What bothers me is that the central character in the show continues to be at the mercy of her egotistical husband, thankless children, and scheming mother-in-law for every small joy or pleasure.
That even after a divorce, the formal dissolution of her marriage, she’s unable to really do anything without constant bickering and a family-wide drama. When will fictional characters on Indian television have the freedom to be themselves, unabashedly, and still remain the protagonist of the story?
Curious to know what homemakers and women who have invested in their life in care work and caregiving feel about the show. Does the show make them feel seen? Or does the show and its characters propagate unrealistic ideals?