I Was Cyberstalked For Doing My Job. But Here’s How You Can Stay Safe Online

*Trigger Warning: Mention Of Harassment*

“I am afraid of using social media accounts as someone hacked my account and put obscene pics there. I know that someone,” Kavya (name changed) whispered in my ear.

“Who is that person and why have you not made a complaint about the same?” I asked Kavya, my young student.

“He is my distant cousin only and I have not accepted his proposal to hang out together,” Kavya told me as if she had committed a crime.

I was shocked to hear that asserting herself by refusing a proposal had resulted in this young girl cutting herself off from social media. And the fear of becoming a subject of shaming stopped her from making a complaint.

I Was Cyberstalked For Doing My Job

This reminded me of an incident when I was working at a helpline project and caught one of the juniors red-handed, taking crucial information from the caller while I was doing quality analysis of the calls. As a result, that junior was suspended.

After a few days, I started getting calls asking about my “availability”. At first, I did not understand until I was told by one of the callers that he received my number in one of the mails sent to him with obscene pics. I immediately sensed that this was the price of my diligent work in the organisation.

I escalated the case to my senior, who spoke to that caller. We came to know that a secondary email id was created in my name and my contact number was circulated to unknown people with objectionable pics (all morphed ones).

I was in shock and my parents were equally frightened. I was under tremendous pressure to leave my job and surrender my number. But I was determined to fight back. Though I could not make any official complaints to cyber security, I decided to write to the service provider to freeze that account immediately and inform my seniors.

The account was frozen and calls were stopped, but I went through a tough phase. This happened a long time back when there were no apps like Truecaller, no such cyber education, no online complaint systems.

Today, even though time has changed and we have progressed so much, the mentality of the average individual has not changed. Even today, it’s so easy to put a woman or a girl under pressure by hacking her pics, trolling her, issuing open threats to her — the kind of trauma women or girls face cannot be described in words.

Much like Kavya, most women and girls don’t complain. Instead, they are made to blame themselves and delete their social media accounts because:

1. Family pressure of not revealing the incident.
2. Afraid of society (log kya kahenge).
3. Lack of knowledge: not aware where to complain.
4. Long processes to resolve the complaint by a service provider.
5. Unable to face the pressure/trauma of the incident.
6. The sick social mindset of blaming the woman/girl who is suffering in such cases.
7. Fear of fighting alone or lack of support.

Staying Safe Online

Based on my experience, I’d like to share some tips which I hope you find useful as far as staying safe online is concerned:

1. Don’t accept any requests from unknown people or even from known people under pressure.
2. Always use strong passwords. Don’t give access to anyone. It does not matter how close that person is.
3. If you find anything suspicious in your account, immediately take action and complain to the service provider. If you don’t know how to complain, reach out to reliable friends/family immediately.
4. Don’t reveal your personal information such as mobile number, location of your house or anything personal. You never know who is watching you with what intention.
5. Don’t be afraid to complain; always reach out.

Online harassment has become a very serious matter and it can be resolved only when we have stringent laws and take immediate actions. We should not allow social media channels to be used as means to harass women online and to put their dignity at stake. Such things are not acceptable and can be tackled when we break the bias, ensuring a safe and secure world for all women and girls.

Kavya is still gathering the courage to talk to her parents and I am continuously trying to motivate her. I have shared my story with my fellow women changemakers while attending the She Creates Change lab in 2018. Many of them appreciated my decision to continue my mobile number and my work. This has encouraged me to become more active online.

Today I am actively contributing to women’s safety online and related conversations, efforts and finding ways to reach out to authorities in online harassment cases.

Please reach out to me on Twitter if you feel I can help you in any way.

Rinki Sharma is an activist who works on consumer rights, women’s rights and civic issues. She is based in New Delhi.