Trigger Warning: Mentions of gender based violence
I am a girl. Biologically a girl is a human being that is feminine and young and can reproduce. Usually, girls are subjected to various problems that include discrimination (as it is stereotyped that boys are an asset whereas girls are meant to take care of children, and often girls in villages are not given the right to education).
In simple words, discrimination means to insult, threaten or pull down a person’s ability so they can be repressed. Sometimes people who are generally weak and can’t defend themselves are bullied, and women are also stereotyped as a weak gender.
Harassment (cruel and annoying behaviour and harming a person regularly), domestic violence (aggressive behaviour within the home), marital rape (rape by spouse) and other sexual abuses, etc. are some examples.
One in three women in India probably have been subjected to intimate partner violence, but only one in 10 women formally reported the offence. Sexual abuses for minors or below 18 (the legal age of consent) perch at 15.4%, down from 27.8% in 2018. Also, it was reported that 109 children are sexually abused every day in India.
An estimated 91% of rape and sexual assault victims are female and 9% male. Nearly 90% of abusers are male. Roughly 80–85% of completed rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. American Indian women are the only racial group more probably to be abused by a male outside their racial group.
It’s seen that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys by age 18 will have been the sufferer of some form of sexualised violence. The lifetime risk for violent exploitation, including sexual abuse for women to live alone and suffer from mental illness, is 97%. Also, they are subjected to taunts and inequality, saying that boys are stronger.
So starting my story now – I am 14 years old. I don’t have much experience but still faced a few situations. Earlier I used to be happy with my life, and everything was going pretty well. But when I entered my teens, my menstruation cycle started, and I lost around ten kilograms of weight.
Also, as I was growing up, it became tough for me to accept myself as a girl. I used to be doubtful as other changes were taking place too. In March 2020, my whole family was Covid positive, and things weren’t going well. My dad and grandpa were injected with many injections, and it used to hurt to see them like that.
Also, I was sexually abused when I came from cycling in front of my house. I was shattered, and it was so quick that I felt terrible that I didn’t even defend myself. Since then had a fear of men, stopped going cycling. Everything felt bad.
Then I had anxiety and insomnia. For nights, I used not to sleep, and that thing just flashed, and I used to feel anxious and helpless. My parents showed me to a doctor, but it didn’t work well. My parents used to feel that I was kidding them by saying that I could not sleep, and still, my parents aren’t open to talking about mental issues.
But time passed, and I got over it. But before an exam or if something bad happens or a bad experience, I feel anxious. People always stare, and it makes me feel insecure, and sometimes it feels bad to be a girl because of all this.
Men sometimes think that girls are stuff to harass. Also, discrimination is there, and we aren’t allowed to go alone anywhere. So I feel isolated and lonely. In the lockdown, I felt alone as I didn’t have anything to do and couldn’t connect with friends.
I started going to school and struggled with friendship as old friends moved on and ignored that was the worst time for me. Because I was innocent, friends used not to pay attention and ignore me. Also, feeling for someone was something that made me regret it.
So, whatever bad used to happen, I wrote in a diary and kept it with me. All these experiences made me physically and mentally stronger, and I have realised that in this world, it’s tough to think of a person and that I am my own best friend and my problems are mine. Also, there won’t affect my friends.
I have to deal with all the problems. Whether staring, school issues, family issues, bullying or feelings. It’s just me who has to be firm enough to deal with all issues. Also, it’s essential to find positivity in negativity.