A young and enthusiastic girl who was yet to channelise her true potential and find the purpose of her life, found herself suddenly stuck in the “marriageable age group”. She heard a sudden announcement that “it was the right time to marry” now. The girl who aced many exams, her worth was suddenly reduced to “becoming a bride”.
It was a turmoil… A whirlpool she never thought she would get stuck in. Because she trusted her family and they were her only strength, they strongly shielded her from societal orthodoxy.
Does she even want to get married? Is she mentally ready for that kind of responsibility? Is she scared? Is she happy? She wished for somebody to assuage her of all her fears.
That “common girl” with dreams in her eyes, had just started to rebuild herself after continuous struggles. For now, she wasn’t ready for anything else except finding her purpose in life.
There Is No Perfect Age To Marry
That common girl wanted to live her life on her own terms. Just like the individual being that she was, all she wanted was to be accepted as that person. All she expected was to fly like a free bird.
She wants to explore, learn and grow without secret traps. She wants the freedom to make her own life decisions.
An adult, specially a grown-up woman, taking control of one’s own life is not and should not be seen as her being disrespectful of others.
Why should only “marriage” still be a woman’s priority? Why is there still a “perfect age” to marry? A rebel like me has thoughts like these.
It’s high time society needs to realise that “marriage” should be a strictly personal choice. The ones who are married and who do not want to marry at all, should be equally treated. Why the bias? We all are born different and so are our objectives.
Stop Guilting Women Into Marriage
Pressurising and guilt-tripping young people, especially woman, into marriage should end. Aren’t we the progressive beings of the 21st century still blatantly following regressive evolution?
How will this country be a global super power, if half of it’s population, whether educated or uneducated, is still deprived of their personal rights solely due to their gender?
How can you build your future on uncertainty? If we think of marriage as a pyramid then choice, respect and mental capability to hold that responsibility, forms the base of it.
Pressurising young people into accepting their future decisions due to societal pressures, is also a big reason for failed marriages these days.
Since ages, the misconception, unequal and poor implementation of norms in the sacred institution of marriage, has created an imbalance in the sanctity of it. Not wanting to marry will direct taunts of being “westernised” at you.
Society Constantly Mocks Single Women
Excerpts from the “Rig Veda” and the “Manusmriti” define eight types of marriages in Hinduism. They outrightly state that marriages based on exchange of money and goods (i.e., dowry in our modern-day understanding) falls under asur vivah (marriage of evil).
It is one of the worst kinds of “deals” done to find a partner. And, I will proudly and duly follow my unbiased Vedic roots. What’s amusing is the hypocrisy here. In India, we still see dowry inflation.
Surprisingly, the most literate state in India, Kerala, topped the chart last year. Society will rush to adore the “asur vivahitas“, and mock single people, especially women. Unfortunately, gender equality remains but a topic people write essays on.
Marriage, being a traditional and cultural practice, has been put on a blurred pedestal lately. It is about more than just procreation and the biological clock of women. It’s totally fine if people still want to settle down the traditional way.
Find Your Purpose And Stay Strong
But, let others who do not think of marriage as the ultimate settlement in life, live. Let them settle down when they wish to. What’s the haste? Let women accept their responsibilities on their own terms, when they are mentally prepared.
Marriage is a crucial relationship requiring the balance of two. As rapidly as everything else is changing, hold yourself. Do not just go with the flow.
Find yourself first, stay curious, take your own responsibility, work on your dreams, find your purpose… STAY STRONG! If then, you come across someone to accompany you in your path, you can inculcate them into your life as your partner, with their consent.
Analyse if you both are suitable for each other, not just in monetary terms, but emotionally too. Academics is important, but emotional intelligence is paramount. It is not an easy task to let someone inside your emotional and spiritual state.
Marriage Is A Union Of Free Souls
It is better to be alone than with the wrong company. This line applies not only to friendships, but to every other relationship. A big, fat, show-off business is going on in the name of marriage. It feels overwhelming.
Ultimately, it is all about the pious partnership of two souls. Let the souls choose their path. What’s more powerful than the willing union of Shiva and Shakti? Let it be that simple! And most importantly, let everyone breathe.
There is a lot more to write, but I have tried to keep this simple for now.
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