“Won’t you be going to your mother’s house for the delivery? You would feel more comfortable there,” her mother-in-law questioned Jia.
“No, ma, I don’t think so! My office is closer from here so it’s more convenient. Let’s see, maybe I’ll go after my delivery for a few days,” replied Jia.
“You are the first girl in the world who does not want to go [to her parents’ house]. Almost all women have their first delivery at their mayka (maternal house),” her mother-in-law tried to convince her.
“We have already registered for the delivery to take place in a hospital that is five minutes from home, so it is best that Jia stays here as it is more convenient for everyone,” Jia’s husband Karan intervened.
First Delivery Happens At Home, Why?
“I just want Jia to be comfortable so I suggested the same. Do you both have the funds required for the delivery? Do you know how much would it cost approximately? If you need funds, we are always there to help you,” his mother replied.
She added, “We had your elder sister staying with us during her pregnancy and we took very good care of her. The first delivery always happens at the girl’s home as it is a tradition. We paid for all the expenses and even stayed up nights, taking care of the baby, so that your sister could get some much-needed rest. She went back to her in-laws’ house only after the baby turned three months old and was easier to handle.”
“It is a good arrangement and being followed since the olden times,” Karan’s mother tried to reason it out with her son and daughter-in-law.
Who Is Going To Pay For The Delivery?
“Don’t worry, ma! We have it all sorted out. This works for the both of us and I would like it if Jia stayed with me. The medical expenses are covered by Jia’s Mediclaim so we are covered up to a lakh,” Karan replied.
“That’s nice but what if it exceeds that amount, will Jia’s parents be helping you with the remaining amount? I am sure they would like to help you both. After all, it’s their first grandchild!” Karan’s mother probed further.
“Why will they pay, ma? We don’t want you or my parents to pay for the delivery. It is our child and our responsibility so we both will bear the expenses,” Jia explained.
She added, “We are both earning and self-sufficient. Besides, I have my company covering my expenses. I have worked there for almost six years. It’s high time I enjoy some of the perks of working for a corporate.”
“It’s A Man’s World After All!”
Jia was getting increasingly frustrated and impatient with the entire conversation. She felt burdened by the sugarcoated, unrealistic expectations from her parents. They raised her well and made sure she had the best education. It was unfair to expect more from them.
It was a man’s world, after all! She suddenly realised why many people didn’t want a girl child. It all made sense to her now.
Her mother-in-law continued, “Have you both decided on names? Please do take our opinions into account as well. Any name is okay, but make sure it is an Indian name as per our scriptures.”
Jia was in the final month of her pregnancy and she didn’t want to stress herself out, so she decided to let go and leave the fight for another day.
Pregnancy Is Supposed To Be A Magical Time
Pregnancy is supposed to be one of the most beautiful periods in a woman’s life—the beginning of a new life, the anticipation of holding your little one… But, why was her pregnancy filled with anxiety and apprehension?
The baby was not even born yet and she already felt like she had no control over their lives. She was constantly reminded as to what was expected from her and her parents.
Her family had already decided that they would organise the naming ceremony within the first fifteen days of the child’s birth.
“In our religion, the girl’s parents gift gold to their grandchild. If not much, then at least, a gold chain. We had gifted the same to our daughter when she had her first child,” her mother-in-law interrupted her thoughts.
“We have decided that we won’t be accepting any expensive gifts from anyone, especially from our families. We just want our child to have everyone’s love and blessings,” Karan said.
Is It A Gift Or Extortion?
“Don’t worry, beta, our grandchild will always have all our love and blessings. We are a part of the same family so we won’t buy anything exorbitant. These traditions are just to be followed by the girl’s parents. If not, then everyone will speak ill about them. It is the least they can do as they are not even paying for the delivery expenses,” his mother retorted.
Jia was dumbfounded! She couldn’t think clearly anymore. She stood there, staring into nothingness, feeling completely lost.
The irony is that it is only the girl’s parents who are asked to follow these so-called traditions. She didn’t really expect anything from her in-laws, but wasn’t this going to be their grandchild too? It seemed as if the rules applied only to her parents.
“New-Age Form Of Dowry”
She realised that she can’t change the thinking of the people around her overnight. It was not possible to have an argument every day. As they say, sometimes peace is more important than being right.
She decided to step back that day, but only to preserve her energy for the fight that was yet to come, in the near future. There was a lot of thinking to do, but for now, the well-being of her baby, and her mental state were of paramount importance.
It is high time we think about this new-age form of dowry! There are many people who succumb to this pressure every day, and then, there are a few who stand up to it. Which one are you?