“Henceforth, I’m simply going to have dinner without you. I’m fed up with calling and waiting for you,” Shifali’s angry outburst camouflaged all her other emotions of love and concern for her son.
She was trying her best to keep her temper in check. But this had become a routine. She would keep calling Saad for dinner, and he would continue working on his laptop. Moreover, each time, without looking up, he would say, “I’ll be there in five minutes.” However, those five minutes would stretch, and Shifali only found herself waiting over cold food.
Today her tolerance level had crossed its limit, and she couldn’t control her anger. Mother and son had a heated argument. Eventually, they landed up not eating and barging into their rooms, banging doors violently. Whose anger would you justify?
Rajesh was a very generous and fun-loving person. But, as much as his qualities were appreciated, people around him were frightened of him in equal measure. Yes, because of his bad temper and aggressive nature. When he was angry, his unreasonable screams could be heard two blocks away. His ill-temper washed away his generosity.
Anger: An extreme and powerful but, at the same time, a highly misunderstood emotion. It’s not a negative feeling. It’s healthy and normal to feel angry. It’s better to bring it out than keep it pent up inside and wait for the volcano to erupt one day. It is also vital to measure how much anger is healthy and when it becomes dangerous.
If you know how to channel your anger, it can drive you to achieve many great objectives. For example, billionaire Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba.com, was rejected from thirty jobs he applied to after college. Imagine the level of his resentment and frustration! Nevertheless, he funnelled it in the right direction.
The significant aspect is also your name and reputation. Anger misleads people to build up a different image of you, which may not be accurate. In addition, temporary outbursts can leave permanent scars that may be irreparable. Anger should not be confused with aggression. While getting angry is an emotion that you may or may not display.
You may act sympathetically and consider the other person’s feelings. At the same time, aggression is an outburst that can go out of hand and become ugly. Your focus is totally on yourself, and you quickly blame others for making you mad.
It’s essential to look out for healthy and acceptable ways to deal with anger.
1. When someone displeases you, I think it’s best to go and talk it out with that same person instead of cribbing about it or gossiping with others. You’ll feel a ton of bricks slip off your shoulders.
2. Let go of things that are not a matter of life and death. If it’s not a big deal, don’t make an issue out of it.
3. Learn to respect and accept differences of opinion. It’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s more about another point of view. If I were to say jokingly, it’s about seeing the number as ‘6’ or ‘9’.
4. Disconnect yourself from an angry situation. Give yourself time to calm down and reflect. For example, if you clash with someone, don’t respond immediately. Taking time out will help you realise your mistake and see things from a different perspective. You might even empathise with that individual.
5. If your anger is directed towards a particular person, think of the good things in them or the depth of your relationship with them. It will automatically diffuse your anger, and you will think of creative ways to bridge the gap.
6. When you get angry, you give your control to someone else. Wouldn’t you like to keep that power with you? The remote control of our life should be in our hands.
Even though anger is subjective and personal to each of us, it can be handled smartly by applying any of the above ideas. Or you might have a unique, innovative notion of your own.
I’m sure after reading the above article. You must be mocking that it’s easier said than done. It isn’t. All it requires is to slow down and think twice before reacting. Ponder upon this Chinese Proverb, it’s incredible:
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”
Images are for representational purposes only.