*Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence*
I grew up seeing my mom being physically abused by my father every day. I still remember those chilly winter nights when he would throw us out of the house. Some neighbours would take pity on us and give us blankets and food.
My mom was extolled by people around her for being a faithful wife. I thought they were right, they were my elders after all, and I never contested their claims as a child. But my mom’s heart-wrenching wails and her bloodied face would make me cry as well. I would ask people to help my mom. Sometimes they would; sometimes they wouldn’t.
I started struggling with dilemmas in my head. How could someone be so cruel? How could one human being harm the other so badly? It must not be right to hurt someone. This is why I developed extreme hatred for violence and injustice.
Over time I began to mount a sort of resistance against my father’s violence. “He can’t hit my mom” is the only thing that went on in my head. I would shout at him, try to stop him.
To my utter surprise, my decision to stand up for my mom’s rights was taken as indiscipline by my relatives, neighbours, etc. They were of the opinion that I was disrespecting my father, who had every right on my mother, and if he liked beating her, so be it. It was a matter between a husband and wife and I wasn’t allowed to interfere.
My dad lost his job because of his drunkenness. He had no money. He had no savings. He would ask my mom to borrow money from people so that he could pay bribes. He would ask her to go to the officials’ house to beg for his job. He landed us in trouble and rendered us hopeless many times. He had many cases slapped on him for fighting, abusing and hitting people in an inebriated state.
Very recently, my dad tried to strangle my mom in a fit of rage when nobody was home. We tried to confront him. This also did not go down well with our relatives. They came to visit my mom. They advised her to let it go. My mami said, “Jane dijiye jiji, pati k hath marengi to ban jayegi aapki, swarg jayengi aap.”
People tell my mom that her life can very well be turned into a bestselling novel. I don’t know about that; all I know is my mom got nothing, no happiness in her life, just because she is a woman. She has been taught to suffer by society and that’s what she did. She fulfilled her duty; she’s made to think.