Hi folks! We’re in the middle of bisexual awareness week, which is celebrated every year from September 16-23.
Each year, we focus on highlighting the kind of obstacles bisexual people face throughout our lives; the importance of policies to create awareness and acceptance for us in the world; and remembering the fights we’ve had for our rights.
Figuring out that you’re bisexual can be a tough journey, especially in India, where sexuality is something we whisper about behind closed doors.
But, imagine having to bust myths and stereotypes surrounding bisexual people, every time you try to date someone! From having lesbians assume I’m just using them as a placeholder for “the right guy”, or guys who felt insecure about the fact that I’ve been with women… I’ve seen it all. So, here we go!
Welcome to Gayathri’s list of top 10 things she wishes people knew about bisexuality.
1. We. Don’t. Want. A. Threesome.
Not with your girlfriend. Not with your best friend. Not with anybody else. It’s like expecting me to mix mutton biryani and ice cream. I like both, just not together.
2. Sex with a person of the same gender is just as “real” as straight sex.
The definition of sex differs from person to person. You really shouldn’t put your… nose into everything. It’s not as important as you think it is.
3. Bisexual people aren’t cheaters.
Just because we have more options, doesn’t mean we walk around seeing who we can sleep with next. We are not some kind of hookup assassin. Cheating depends very much on the person, not their sexuality.
4. We aren’t “secretly gay” or “secretly straight”.
If I’m in a heterosexual relationship, I am still bisexual. I’m not “experimenting” when I’m in a homosexual relationship. Like I said before, I am bisexual. I’m as fruity as it gets.
5. We are NOT sex fiends.
I don’t do this just to get laid. I experience romantic and sexual attraction to more than one gender, while other bisexual people may not. Preferences change, so stop picturing vamps from ‘90s Bollywood films when you think of bisexual women.
6. I can be friends with people. Everyone is not on my hit(on) list!
Bisexual people are perfectly capable of having platonic relationships, just like straight people can be friends with people of other genders. When straight people assume that we’re hitting on them, they’re taking a little too much credit to themselves.
7. Sideshaves/cuffed jeans/silver jewelry/lots of rings/piercings ≠ bisexual people.
YOU GUYS, THERE ISN’T A SPECIFIC BISEXUAL LOOK! We’re not aliens, we’re just like anybody else. Our sexuality doesn’t determine our clothing or accessories.
8. Bisexual people can have preferences for any specific gender, and that does not stop them from being bisexual.
Sometimes, I prefer men over women, or vice-versa. So, when you see me or anyone preferring one gender over the other, we haven’t picked “sides”. We’re still a part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
9. We aren’t confused about ourselves.
The only thing that’s confusing is why everyone seems to think it’s a phase. Sexuality is just as fluid as gender, so let people be?
10. No, I actually just have nine points.
This is exactly why you shouldn’t let certain prejudices color your view of others, such as me, the writer.
On a more serious note, bisexuality can feel incredibly isolating. When we, ourselves, are on our journey of self-discovery, it can hurt to have others doubt our preferences or call it a phase.
Our sexuality becomes one more thing that makes us feel invisible, when it should be a beautiful experience. If you think these are just my experiences, and that I’m the exception, here’s a study conducted about common stereotypes surrounding bisexual women.
The idea is to live, and let live. To let people explore themselves. What does it matter, as long as they are truly happy?