I was 16 when I lost my father. All of my family was devastated at his demise and my mother was lying down on my lap. While I was trying to console her, she started saying things like “No one will come to our house anymore, everyone will eventually forget us. I am done, now I will be all alone without friends “.
I felt perplexed at her reaction and words. I thought of it as silly and concluded that her grief was making her say things which are mindless.
After a while, I was talking with a friend who told me about visiting her family friend, a childhood mate of her father. That was the moment I got struck by the fact that what ever my mother told me that day was actual truth about her existence.
In our country and tradition, daughters are born to be married off . Where men get the privilege to live with their parents, women have to leave their family and friends behind to live with her ‘New Family’.
As time passes she will have to eventually blend and adjust to new lifestyle whether she likes it or not. Her husband’s family will become her family, her husband’s friends will become her friends and finally she has become a person with no individuality of her own. Everything she will come to think, own or possess will be linked to other people. That’s an elaborate and systemic process of making women friendless in long run.
After being struck with the realization, I started observing my mother and other women of her age. It was devastating to find out that they don’t really have women friends or have lost the privilege to keep in touch with their friends because they are married now.
They are trying to adjust as per the people around them and not getting any chances to meet and find new individuals who are like-minded. Although humans are social animals, women who make up almost half of the entire population are trained and placed in a space where they have zero friends and well wishers.
Are they mentally strong enough to bear the loneliness ? Maybe they can. Maybe not!
Do they deserve to be put in such positions? No. Absolutely not!