I had normalized cramps for the longest time. My mother told me all about periods. However, having no experience of cramps, when I complained about my pain, she told me it will happen anyway and I should distract myself. Every time it pained, I would pinch my big toe until it turned red hoping it was a distraction good enough to make me forget the pain (of course that never happened).
Despite being the same phenomenon, the experiences of individuals across different times and spaces, are unique. So when we speak of period positivity, it does not mean glossing over the pain but opening up intersections for multiple experiences to come forth. Normalization of pain and invalidating others’ pain occurs because prejudice causes period-talks to irk menstruators themselves. Menstruators experiencing PMS and PMDD are asked to ‘toughen up’.
Talking about her experience, Ambalika Dutta said, “‘While men think we are being dramatic, older women usually say they’ve been through the same and we should learn to bear with it.”’
Repression enforces the act of toughening up, a lonely experience that often makes one un/consciously disregard or resent something to a point of denial that stifles acknowledgement. Prejudices, thus, quell solidarity. They have another purpose which I will return to, in conclusion.
For now, let’s take a look at the major emotional and physical pains of menstruation:
Perimenstrual Syndrome and Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder
Not everyone experiences PMS but most do. Menstruators experience various kinds and magnitudes of physical and emotional pain from the time PMS starts and during the period. Depending on the severity, for some, it continues a few days after the period has ended. Calling it perimenstrual instead of premenstrual is more accurate since ‘pre’ implies that it ends once the period begins which isn’t always the case.
‘Are you PMSing?’ is often used to nullify a menstruator’s argument. PMS feelings are valid. Hormones only magnify expressions. They’re inexplicable is because the spike is sudden, combined with, and catalyzed by physical pain. The degree of pain also causes mood swings. For people living with anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, panic attacks, and other mental health issues, dealing with the excess that periods bring is very triggering and PMDD is more commonly experienced by them. Neglecting PMS automatically means neglecting PMDD.
PMDD is the debilitating form of PMS that can last lifelong. It obstructs daily life, work, social interactions, personal relations, and more. Here are some symptoms of PMDD
- Extreme mood swings
- Depression
- Intense anger and conflict within and without
- Anxiety
- Reduced interest in usual activities
- Difficulty concentrating
- Constant fatigue
- Feeling out of control
- Change in appetite
- Sleep issues
- Severe cramps and bloating
- Breast tenderness, pain, swelling
- Headaches
- Joint or muscle pains
- Hot flashes
If you have five or more symptoms, please consult your ob-gyn. Symptoms arrive a week before menstruation and stay until a few days after.
“‘I often feel like curling up in a corner and just sitting there for the rest of my life or slowly melting away. I feel angry at everything and everyone, including myself. This begins a few days or weeks before my period starts along with slight pain in the abdomen. That’s how I know my period is about to start. My tolerance level is zero during this time,” says S.Jose*
There are more than 10 million annual cases in India and yet most people are unaware of it. Out of the 24 survey respondents, 13 didn’t know about PMDD at all.
Menstrual cramps and varying levels of pain
Cramps are real and experienced in varying degrees. Just because cramps ‘happen’, it shouldn’t be endured. Being normalized, people don’t try relieving it. Cramps (secondary dysmenorrhoea) can also be symptoms of underlying complications, so it’s important to not neglect them. People with PCOS, cysts, endometriosis experience extremely painful periods.
I asked 24 menstruators about their dysmenorrhoea experience. For some, it’s non-existent or short-term like Pausali writes, ‘It doesn’t affect me much. I take a half-day rest as it happens only on the first day.’ For others, it can be debilitating as Soumi Mukherjee who has PCOS says she experiences ‘Immense cramps and can’t walk due to pain’.
Sima Ghosh* who also suffers from PCOS writes, ‘Irregular periods imply that the PMS sets in at very odd times. I get cramps without periods for weeks.’Sudipta Ghosh suffers from secondary dysmenorrhoea. She has had three C-section surgeries and experiences cramps severe enough to make her faint.
S.Jose* says, “I feel like my entire body is on fire and a 100 knives are stabbing my tummy at the same time. I feel fatigued, bloated, nauseous. I take painkillers and also use a hot water bag kept on my lower tummy/back and sometimes under my foot. Sometimes the pain is relieved when my feet warm up.”
Tanurima Chanda says she sleeps ‘all day with a heat pack, only if I don’t have a commitment I absolutely cannot back out from. I go through a tough space mentally.’ Urna Chakraborty also experiences debilitating cramps and Riya Roy writes how, in certain months, she is unable to move at times as it severely pains from the abdomen to the knee—‘It affects my work sometimes and also my mood as it makes me feel sick.’
Surasree Banerjee’s ovarian cyst makes cramps more severe for her. Gangabhavani M. experiences mild fever with abdomen, leg, and body pain two days before menstruation.
Medicines, hot or cold compress, relief patches, period drinks/eatables, sexual pleasure are some of the things that help alleviate primary dysmenorrhoea. Secondary dysmenorrhoea stems from underlying health complications so it’s essential to pay heed to pain and get treated.
A pain that can be stopped should simply be stopped and not endured
Baba always inspired me to learn about and care for my body. He used to push me to get cramps-relief medicines from our local Homeopathy doctor; something I kept deferring because I’d internalized Ma’s advice. That’s the other purpose of stigma—to stop the flow of information by punctuating it with guilty-silences.
I was at my class-10 physics tuition on a Sunday morning when regular period-fatigue suddenly escalated. I felt dizzy; yet couldn’t bring myself to tell my male teacher and only confessed to his wife. Shortly after, I fainted. My father took me home. The incident never repeated itself, thankfully. And Baba consulted a doctor regarding my cramps.
Prescribing a medicine, he told my parents, “Why did you make this such a big deal that it could not get the attention it deserved? A pain that can be stopped should simply be stopped and not endured. If tolerated, it could give rise to further complications.”
Funny it could apply to all spheres of life, right?
*Names changed