Hi, I’m Spandana. I already gave my introduction in my first article. This is my second article for Youth Ki Awaaz. Today, I want to talk about the settlement of life and gender. As I woke up in the morning, I came out of my bedroom. I entered the hall; I saw my family discussing settling in life. They meant marriage (mere liye nahin hai ?(It is not for me)). I was arguing with them about settling down; they say marriage is a sign of settlement. I disagreed with them. Then I thought of writing this article.
“We cannot define marriage as a settlement of life.”
Settlement: agreement intended to resolve a dispute or a conflict (Oxford dictionary) — in life, we grow up with different definitions, Society calls marriages a settlement of life, but no, it is not. I want to talk about the settlement of life and gender. We have seen so many laws about women marrying at the age of 18 and men marrying at the age of 21. many countries have the law of marriageable age of 21 for women and 23 for men; in 2009, it raced to 26 for women and 28 for men.
Why are women discriminated against and do not have the same age as men in a marriage? I have an example I would like to share with you all. In Indian society, after getting a job, they do not call them settled for them; marriage is a settlement. They want men to get enough maturity before marriage after getting a job, but they want the woman to marry as soon as she gets a job, tell them that their biological clock is ticking. These societal norms do not allow people to settle for their individual idea of settlement, which might be different. Many of them want to achieve their goals, ambitions dreams. If they are happy in life, they are settled, if someone does not have a job and now gets a job and settles, or someone failed in the exam if the passes, they are settled so on.
I want to conclude by saying that everyone has different definitions of settlement in life; we should not force them to act according to society.