Do you ever feel surrounded by similar people in your community and still feel you aren’t well appreciated or welcome by them. Yes, I felt this whenever I met a person in my Bihari community. The person sitting next to me was from the same place I belong to. I moved towards him and said hello with a bright smile and a silly question to start a conversation with him. I asked, “Are you from Bihar?”
Indirect Discrimination Through Jokes Is Not Cool
He said “Yes”, and tried to hold the conversation. After seeing him, I thought I have someone I can talk to freely, presuming he is from the same community. Working in a company was totally new for me. After a week of observation, we could talk and say hello. I thought he was a man of few words. But when he had a conversation with another employee, it felt that he was trying to hold an impression over everyone in the office so that no one would judge him for being a Bihari guy.
Maybe he was right. The place from which we come, the roots and accent make us feel proud, but it’s not always the same when we come to another city.
One morning after totally unrelated arguments with my friends, a thought popped up in my mind.
Isn’t it that true people make fun of Biharis’ accent and the process of thinking without being direct about it? Because, hello, you can’t discriminate against anyone in India directly by saying we are grouping against you and make fun of you based on your roots and accent. So, simply playing safe, we are joking, don’t feel bad about it.
Sometimes, it makes me wonder why people feel and have the conception that Biharis are people who have been brought up in an environment with guns and hooliganism. And other people can easily make their way out by overly praising them and later discriminating and suppressing their thoughts and ideas that might change a whole new world.
Let’s Make A More Welcoming Inclusive Community
This might be a partial truth. But there are people from Bihar who have excellent thinking processes and a good sense of humour with abundant talent. Seeing the behavioural patterns of other communities against us, I thought there are more things to be proved and to disapprove of the stereotypes of being a Bihari.
But the other side of the coin, it’s no different. The people from the same roots believe that people of their community are less and think that the person would not like to talk much or share their ideas and beliefs.
On the one hand, I have been many people from Bihar representing their community song with pride and joy.
Why is it difficult in other parts of India for Bihari people to build a presence of a community where other members can feel the presence of their common roots and learn more about others and never feel “agar tum Bihari ho toh tum toh gunde ke khandan se honge. Arey sunna apna gana baja na ‘Lolipop lage lu’.” (if you’re a Bihari, you must come from a family of goons. Listen, play your song, ‘Lolipop lage lu’.)
No doubt the song is great but representing the whole community with the same song with sarcasm and trying to imply that we don’t have a sense of music is not okay.
Have you ever wondered why other communities are growing in other countries or wherever they go? Thought about Punjabi, Marwari communities?
This is why they know more about their culture and feel confident and proud of their communal support. All the Bihari people out there, don’t you think we should be a little welcoming towards our own community? I am sure supporting each other will eventually open doors for new learning and ease to adjust to a new city.