TW: Rape, sexual assault.
We live in a contorted society where fear has become an innate part of us. Earlier, we had a fear of being the meal of a predator roaming the wilderness.
Humans cooperated and got together to protect each other against this threat, and gradually became the most vicious species on Earth. While we were fighting off other predators, we gave birth to one who walked amongst us.
This predator was the cause of oppression and abuse of women. The descendants of this predator grew exponentially and held dominant roles in the society, further increasing the abuse and oppression females had to go through.
The infamy of the predator is still going on in our society.
According to the WHO, “about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.”
It is only now that this infamy is slowly coming into light. However, many still refuse to believe the gravity of it. Almost every single woman has been the subject of either unnecessary staring, non-consensual touching, unwanted attention, violation of personal space, cat-calling or many other things.
Most of the time, women are told to either “deal with it” or “get used to it“. Billions of humans are still carrying the infamy of that predator without realising it.
We hold men responsible for carrying this infamy and believe society will change when they change. However, I feel it is everyone’s responsibility to bring the change. Men need to behave themselves and respect women, while women need to support each other instead of telling each other to “deal with it” or “get used to it“.
Most men get defensive when women try to talk about their issues and give an ignorant reply, i.e. “Not all men“. They do this because of their ignorance of the women’s perspective. According to the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), “In 8 out of 10 rapes, the perpetrator is known to the victim.”
Men often go into a shell and start crying about their problems when the topic of women issues comes up. They refuse to give up their ego and privilege to understand the women’s perspective. Women don’t deny the struggles of men and are willing to talk about them but not when they are trying to talk about their issues.
People aren’t born with these beliefs or behaviour. They acquire them by observing, learning and experiencing them throughout their lifetime. Men learn this behaviour by seeing it in their houses, media, schools and any other organisation. Women hold these beliefs because of experiences in their homes, schools and any other organisation.
It is ironic that in our society, boys spend most of their childhood with their mothers but never understand her perspective. We often hear the argument that men are at the top of almost every industry, which supposedly proves their ‘superiority’. However, this argument is erroneous, the reason for them being at the top is the head start they’ve had for countless generations over women.
Illusion of superiority
Both men and women need to understand and respect each other’s perspective. Change can only be bought upon when we are willing to cooperate and respect each other. Progress had been slow because we were lost in ourselves and rarely understood each other’s perspective.
Men should start by accepting the centuries of injustice they have caused to women and listening to their perspective. Small steps will take us a long way and end the infamy started by that predator.