Has Your Father Talked To You About Periods Yet?

For long, menstruation has only been considered a women’s issue. In India primarily, a whole lot of taboos and stigmas revolve around it that restrict men from knowing or understanding the biological phenomena in its true essence.

As a result, menstruation has become something that women are supposed to talk about in private. Often, young girls first hear about menstruation from their mothers. Fathers are usually an absent figure in the period talk with their daughters.

Nishika Chawla, a 19-year-old student from New Delhi, shares her experience of having the period talk with her parents. She says she was first introduced to periods by her mother, who taught her about the phenomena, and how to use a pad. Her father was mostly absent from these conversations. Over 43% people reported that their primary source of information about periods were their mothers.

This is a common observation in households where even though the environment around periods is very friendly and comfortable, the father tends to avoid conversations about periods cramps or menstruation in general. There is a sense of feeling embarrassed from the side of the fathers in talking about periods with their daughters. A lot of these notions stem from the imposed silence around periods.

Another student, Arshiya Mahajan, says that in her case, she first got to know about periods from a teacher in school. She usually talks to her mother about periods, but her father is pretty comfortable in listening to her if she ever wants to talk to him.

But the fact remains that often fathers in India are not actively involved in talking about menstruation. Mere buying of sanitary pads and painkillers is not enough; there needs to be a more involved stance when teaching their daughters about menstruation.

A Gap In Understanding 

The main reason for the lack of involvement by the fathers is usually because they were not taught about menstruation itself. Even when I see young boys around me, they either get to know about periods from their menstruating friends, internet or television ads. There still exists this understanding that boys should be made aware of menstruation as a natural body function.

I remember when I was in the sixth standard, the girls in my school were made to quietly form a line and head towards a workshop meant to address periods as a taboo. Now how is teaching only girls about menstruation exactly breaking the taboos? If the institutions that are responsible for our growth don’t include the boys in period conversations, then there is no way we’re going to curb the stigmas and myth anytime soon.

The Need For A Revolution

There is this big misunderstanding that fathers cannot talk about periods to their daughters. Periods are a part of puberty, and both the parents should talk to their children about it. Periods affect a child not only physically but also psychologically. The first talk about periods usually forms an understanding that may impact their daughters their whole life.

If fathers are not actively involved in talking about periods and bashing away the shame, the taboos around menstruation will continue to boil, and the daughters would feel that menstruation is embarrassing or it something that needs to be dealt in private.

In addition, young boys should also be made aware of periods and how it is entirely natural in both school and home. There is extensive literature available online on how parents can talk to their children about periods that can be used in this case. Age-appropriate education helps to inform the kids about their body and helps to alleviate negative feelings about the same.

There also needs to be more institutional and organizational support for fathers as well as more spaces and opportunities to engage with their children. The father should take equal responsibility in teaching their daughters about menstruation and not fearing embarrassment or apologetic at the same time.

The author is a part of the current batch of the #PeriodParGyan Writer’s Training Program