In a country like India, where the patriarchy is deeply ingrained into the minds of people across all socioeconomic backgrounds, cultural stigmas and taboos are built around things that tend to make men uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, menstruation (and as a result, menstrual health management) falls under this broad category. Research suggests that most men lack basic knowledge, not just surrounding menstruation but also reproductive health.
I wanted to know what men understood about menstruation. Even though it is a commonly talked about topic with a ton of research surrounding it, I realised that I had never really had a conversation about menstruation with any of the men I knew. So I decided to do some research of my own. Talking to my few male friends just didn’t cut it, I needed a larger group. So I went to the only place where I would find a large population of men ready to talk to and about women. I downloaded Tinder.
I spoke to 20 random strangers on the dating app to understand what they knew about the issue. Almost all the boys were, surprisingly, more than willing to answer my questions. One of the most significant issues surrounding menstruation is lack of knowledge. So I decided to keep the questions simple. I asked the boys four basic questions to see where they stood.
1. Do You Know What Periods Are?
Class 8th NCERT textbook defines menstruation as “…If fertilisation does not occur, the released egg and the thickened lining of the uterus along with its blood vessels are shed off. This causes bleeding in women which is called menstruation.”
I started with this question for two simple reasons. Almost all of the guys I spoke to came from urban upper-middle-class households. They had access to the internet and schooling, so I expected them to know the answer to this question already.
Asking a question this simple also helped me understand the extent to which these guys understood what I was talking about (and helped me vet out the ones who were googling on the side). The boys were all aware of what periods were and how they affected women. Although some were a little vague about how much they knew, they understood that it was something that happened to women every month and that most women required a bit more patience and emotional support during the time.
2. Do You Know Why They Happen?
This was where things started to get tricky. Of the 20 boys I interviewed, five admitted to not knowing why periods occurred. Seven of them gave me the textbook definition I mentioned in the previous question (which leads me to believe they either googled it or just recalled what they learnt in school verbatim).
Only eight seemed to understand the process and why it occurred. Since this part of the necessary information taught in school, one can only assume that young boys weren’t interested or made to understand that this is essential knowledge that they must keep in mind.
When asked one of them why he didn’t know something that is common knowledge to at least half the world’s population, he, “I can’t speak for anyone, but I think most boys have never even had the birds and the bees conversation with their parents forget about periods.”
3. Do You Know What Pads Are?
For the most part, all the guys knew what pads were. Not all of them knew what they were used for, but they knew the different brands and what they looked like. Advertisements seem to have played a significant role in this understanding.
According to one of the boys, his school teachers often glossed over parts relating to sexual health and reproduction as the entire class would start snickering every time it was brought up. Knowledge around sanitary products is essential and even life saving for some women. Glossing over or completely avoiding the topic, only serves to endanger the lives of young girls who don’t know how to deal with their periods.
4. How And When Did You First Learn About It?
Surprisingly, most of the information they got on periods wasn’t from their biology textbooks but friends and family. When family members weren’t responsive to their question, they turned to the internet. “I noticed that my mom used to stay out of the kitchen for a couple of days every once in a while. When I asked her why she did that she told me that most women get sick for a few days every month. I didn’t find that answer satisfactory so I decided to google it” said of the boys.
Another one of the boys noticed his mother buying Sanitary pads for his sister and decided to ask his friends (older boys) when she didn’t give him a clear answer.
The problem with not educating young boys around menstruation is that they are forced to go the internet to seek answers. While the internet is a vast repository of knowledge, it is also filled with misinformation and dubious sources. Young teenage boys will not be able to gather the correct information and may pass on this misinformation to others.
“It’s not my fault! Blame the Schools!” was something I heard several times from the different boys I spoke to. They’re right! It is not the fault of young boys that the education system has failed to give them a detailed and comprehensive look at basic human functions.
A research program conducted by WaterAid and Vatsalya in Uttar Pradesh aimed to educate and sensitise husbands and men about period-related issues. Focus groups led with the men assessed that the perception of men towards menstruation had changed after counselling. Case studies showed a more substantial engagement between men and women as well as young boys and girls.
People were better aware of their rights and responsibilities and worked together to reduce gender inequalities and exclusionism. Sensitising non-menstruators to menstruation opened up conversations and even encouraged household budgeting for sanitary napkins. If this much change is possible by educating older men for a few months, imagine the difference that would come about if young boys are taught about it in school!
Education is the first step towards starting a conversation. Without fostering a healthy culture of speaking about such issues, we cannot build an equal society for future generations.
The author is a part of the current batch of the #PeriodParGyan Writer’s Training Program