This is a very embarrassing experience that I had recently. This incident actually made me realise how modern women are still following the taboos around menstruation.
I was having a casual walk on the terrace when one of my neighbours came by to sun-dry her clothes. Mind it, my neighbours are all working women living independently. I knew these sisters casually. She greeted me with a broad smile, and we were conversing when she invited me to join them for lunch as my other roommates had gone home for Holi.
She insisted, so I agreed and went to their apartment. These neighbours are also millennials like me, so one-room apartments and small spaces are basic. I took some spare chocolates and oranges for us. We were having small chit chats and good conversations about international stars like Jennifer Lopez and the Kardashians, etc.
Everything was fine until my cramps started to show up on my face, and I asked them for a pillow to support my back. One of these two sisters asked me if I was menstruating and I said “yes”. Suddenly, the atmosphere of the room changed. I was pretty confused initially. They literally went to the balcony to talk about it. And, it was all audible. Things like “Why would she come here if she was bleeding, who is going to wash the bedsheets now”.
I had helped one of them chop onions; I could hear her say “I will re-chop the onions, why did she touch it”. I was shocked and couldn’t wait to go back to my apartment. When they came in, I asked them “What happened? Is everything fine?!” As if I hadn’t heard a word. They reassured me so, I made a very silly excuse that I heard some noise from my floor, and I needed to go check.
I was on the stairs when the younger one of them came following me in no time and said that they have had some emergency and they needed to go somewhere, and she got food in bowls and asked if I could transfer contents in my utensils. I said I could wash and return if it’s okay. But she was firm and ignored every word of what I said. Her smile had vanished. I was in shock for some time. I did as she said.
After an hour or so, I left my apartment for grocery and essentials, when I passed by their room, I could clearly see chocolates and oranges in the dustbin outside their apartment. It was heartbreaking; it all came to me in no time. I thought just to let it all go—because I had heard of some fake beliefs, taboos and myths. I thought maybe I should sit with them and talk about it.
When I returned, I knocked on their door, and the elder sister opened the room and said, “Come and please take a seat on the chair”, I followed. I noticed that their bedsheet, the pillow cover was changed; they had cleaned the whole room. I was about to burst when this elder one started disseminating all her false knowledge.
She said, you know we don’t touch our belongings or food while we menstruate, and we don’t go out. It’s like untouchability. I was mum cause she is a software designer, and I was just too lost in the thought that “God, do they even exist”. She said now that you have come again we will have to wash this chair. I was mum this whole time.
Suddenly, her fake knowledge got me on the brim, and I said, “See if you would have told me I wouldn’t have come again. Also, if I knew you would throw consumables that I had got just because I touched them, I wouldn’t have got them. If you are such a guru of menstruation, you could have returned the fruits and chocolates that you threw in the bin outside of the door.” I left their room.
A few days back, the same older one knocked on my door and asked my roommate to help her cook as she was unwell. Out of empathy, my partner went to her place and cooked her meal, but when she came back, she was very angry. I asked her why and she said, the neighbour was on her periods and her sister had gone home just a day before the lockdown so she couldn’t come back.
So this girl wanted my roommate to cook, clean and do laundry for her. I said it was okay to help. She answered all was fine with her too until she said that she couldn’t touch her clothes cabinet as well and was asking my roommate to help her every day when she bathes; to fetch clothes from the cupboard as she couldn’t touch the cupboard too.
We both looked at each other shocked and couldn’t help control our laughter. The next day, my roommate texted this girl that we both were menstruating, so we cannot help. My partner took this all in fun. But, to be honest, I felt bad for these sisters. I don’t know who ingrained this idea of untouchability in their brains despite being so educated. I wasn’t angry anymore; instead, I felt pity for them. I hope she is doing chores, eating at least and stops doing this injustice to self.