I feel I am always wrong. He is right, I am not taking care of my children. I admit I don’t have any hard working ethics.
These are a few instances of ‘gaslighting,’ a term describing emotional abuse and manipulation. It is borrowed from the 1994 eponymous film starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. The film’s plot is something several of us may have experienced in our lives, systematic manipulation and emotional abuse by the husband making her lose her self-esteem, question herself, and feel crazy.
How Is It Done?
Gaslighting is usually done by a person who is close to you, who knows you and your lifestyle well like your parents, husband, children, coworkers, or even your boss. Someone who has an inherently dominant personality and makes you question yourself. It happens gradually as you start second-guessing your judgment and accept blame even for the things you didn’t do.
The thing that makes this abuse problem is that the victim doesn’t believe they are suffering from it because the victimizer reduces their self-esteem and separates them from their support system making them dependent. This is usually done by people with a narcissistic or sociopathic personality.
Signs Of Gaslighting
There are signs to identify a gaslighter. Since it is usually done by someone close to you, you can feel something different or off about that person. When you are around them you usually start second-guessing yourself and forgetting past details. You become psychologically powerless around them. Always on the edge, you feel self-conscious around them but you don’t seem to understand why this is happening. Nothing will ever feel good enough and you start feeling disoriented and neurotic around them. There is something wrong with you and you feel like you are overreacting and that they are always right.
Seek Help
If you are in a toxic relationship with someone who gaslights, then you need to seek help in the form of counselling or psychological first aid which will make you mentally strong enough to see the situation from your perspective and deal with it.
To know more about this topic feel free to check out the video below.
