“Mr Sharma, We really like your daughter. Now, if you don’t mind, can Sumit and Ayushi talk privately for a while?”
“Yes, definitely. Their conversation is important because they are the ones who’ll ultimately decide about the marriage.”
“Ayushi, you can talk to Sumit in your room and spend some time together.”
Ayushi took Sumit to her room, in between showing her amazing paintings hanging on the walls of the house. They entered her room, sat on the bed and then ensued a deep silence for a few minutes.
“I have a few questions, Ayushi. Can I ask them?”, Sumit tried to break the silence.
“Yes, sure Sumit. Please do,” Ayushi replied in a polite tone.
“Are you a virgin?”
There was a deep silence again. Sumit was eagerly looking at Ayushi, expecting an answer from her. Here, Ayushi was wondering how could someone ask this question in the 21st century.
“Does it matter to you?,” Ayushi asked Sumit.
“Of course. I want a virgin wife,” Sumit replied.
Virginity is considered a virtue of sophisticated girls in India, even today. It is the first and foremost expectation of unmarried women. ‘Ideally’, a girl shouldn’t have performed intercourse before her marriage. At the time of her auction (sorry, I meant marriage), she should be ‘untouched’ so that her husband can experience an amazing feeling on their first night.
Yes, we live in a country where, if a girl has sex before her marriage, she is a whore. But, if a boy has sex before the marriage, he is a stud, he is charismatic. Ask those “two-faced people” – Did he have sex? Then how could a girl be a whore and a boy be a stud?
Do you know how the judicial system in India used to confirm rapes till about a few years ago?
Even today, the horrific medical test – Two Fingers Test – is conducted in the largest democratic country in the world to check if a girl’s claim of getting raped is correct or not. For the test, the doctor would insert two fingers inside the vagina of a girl – to check whether the hymen is broken or not. If it was broken and the fingers of the doctor could easily penetrate inside the vagina, it would be deemed that a girl is habitual of sexual intercourse.
Although the Supreme Court banned this test a few years ago, it is still conducted in a few parts of India in the absence of more adequate medical examinations. What does it mean? The hymen of a woman would be tested to see if the girl consented for the intercourse or if she was forced. If rapes are confirmed based on the condition of a woman’s hymen, ‘marital rapes’ shouldn’t even exist in India.
But, alas! Marital rapes happen in almost every city and village of India, but they go unreported in majority of cases. India is home to uncountable marital rapes every year. Let’s not even talk about anal rapes or rapes where the hymen of a woman is kept intact intentionally to avoid any evidence of rape.
In India, virginity is considered an obvious characteristic of a girl. We judge girls based on how pure she is before marriage. Once she gets married, she becomes the property of her husband. Her body is just meant to fulfill his pleasure, even if she doesn’t give her consent.
Who are we to give a certificate of good character to women? Who gives us the right to celebrate if, on the morning after her first night, the bedsheet is all red-coloured due to the blood that came out of her vagina? Who gives us the right to criticise her if it doesn’t happen?
The hymen is an extremely sensitive layer and can be broken on playing intense sports, dancing, sitting cross-legged on two-wheelers etc. Don’t judge a girl by her virginity or intact hymen. You are no one to assess the character of a girl.