“I Carry Within Me The Spirit Of Hindustan”

I was out protesting on the 19th of December representing my city, Lucknow, as one of the strong voices of dissent, amidst whatever is happening. But not for too long. I was laathi-charged. I was detained. I was kept away from the protest point for quite some time. I got back to the main area, after a few hours though, and managed to sit through for a few minutes, but then, to my utter shock, the protest that was non-violent, had by now, become a ruckus. Dear God, was it scary!

There was this moment during the protest, where I zoned out for a bit, looking at two sides of a coin, right in front of my eyes. To my right was a group of students and their families and friends sitting with posters, singing, almost humming in unison ‘Nafas Nafas‘, while to my left was another bunch of people, who looked rather rowdy, who kept shouting ‘zindaabaad, murdaabaad‘.

A few of them had sticks, our Indian flag and saffron clothes around their necks, and the police almost ignored them and went straight to the ones sitting on the right, laathi charged them and stuffed them into buses.

Haters will think I’m exaggerating. “Unka yaqeen, unka zehen unhe mubaarak” (“I congratulate you on your belief and your brain/psyche”). I know what I saw.

The rest is all over the news. My own people, friends, many citizens of the city, of a particular community, were picked up from the protest point, from their own houses, and arrested, brutally beaten up, almost kidnapped. Since they weren’t allowed to make calls, their families didn’t know of their whereabouts for 2-3 days. A few of them were released only yesterday and there are still ones who have some social capital. Think about the ones who come from simple families and backgrounds?

No matter how wrong this is, they managed to shun us, scare us, shut us up for a while. Because everyone, and hell yes, I count myself in, was/has been scared to raise voices freely, ever since then. Mental health matters right? “Kitni ladaaiyaan kar lenge aap jab sab kuch unke qabze mein hai? Chindi-chindi bik gaya humaara kaanoon!” (How long will you fight when everything is under their control? Our laws have been sold at an atrociously cheap rate!) 

For days and days, and I didn’t step out of my house, except for going to work. Of course, our families were worried. I don’t blame them one bit. I know how anxious it all made me.

Finding other ways to protest, we did storytelling sessions with children around our places, to get them to question what’s happening and why; and to understand the power of compassion.

My insides were just starting to heal and BAM! JNU was attacked! And the news has it all. ALL OF IT!

I want to choose this platform of YKA, to speak to my fellow people, who still are complicit with what’s happening. Yes, you know who you are.

“Kab tak chuppi saadhe baithe rahenge, janaab? Kab tak ghalat-salat logon ke haathon mein desh thamaate rahenge? Aankhein moond ke baithne ka ya chehra pher lene ka waqt gaya..” (How long will you stay quiet, sir? How many more times will you serve the country on a platter, to those most undeserving to run it? It is too late to not see what is in front of you, or just turn away conveniently…)

It isn’t really only about CAA-NRC anymore. Even criminals have human rights and a voice, and here in our country, at the moment, students and normal citizens are being robbed off so much, for merely protesting peacefully, against national decisions or a decision that concerns their university fee, their family, their history, their future! Be it in Kashmir, or at Jamia,